Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: May 9: Education campaign gone wrong

Doug sent in a picture of this sticker on the window of his school, which he wouldn't name. This is the third time we have been sent a picture of Ministry of Health faded smokefree signage. Maybe it's time they spent some of that tax haul on a new paint job?

Secrets shared

1. "In 1976 some budding realtors in the sixth form at Pakuranga College decided that the departure of then headmaster Ernest Rive would provide an opportunity for the school to be sold. This advert was placed in the classifieds: 'Owner Leaving Country: 14 acres prime land, central position near Pakuranga Highway, facilities include swimming pool, mini golf course, tennis court, physical training facilities and recreational area. Environmentally laid out, caretaking staff available. Earnest inquiries to PO Box 38-002, Howick, Auckland.' Office staff were sent into a flurry with 'earnest' inquiries but a hastily called assembly could not identify the budding realtors."

2. "When I was 8 we moved to a house with a wooden banister.

It was so shiny and smooth I wanted to scratch my name in it but knew I would get into trouble ... so scratched my sister's name instead. She got a hard smack from dad and was sent to her room, all the while protesting her innocence. Took me 10 years to 'fess up."

3. "About 23 years ago, the school cleaners were on strike and some schools closed for a day or so. My sister and I were quite peeved our school was still open. At the same time our brother's pet rat died, so we took it to school and planted it in the girls' toilets. Our school was closed the next day."

Uncharitable Christians

Sophie was driving down Dominion Rd on Monday and saw a man in his 50s with a broken leg lying face down on a kerb struggling to get up. "I pulled over and walked towards him (following a man and his son) to help him up. The man and his son glanced at the other man, then walked into a church. Not very Christian if you ask me."

Cheeky Wi-Fi

Amusing Wi-Fi router names

1. "The wicked witch of the west" for my wife and myself to use and "House monsters" for the kids and their friends to use.

2. I live in Epsom and our neighbours have named their internet "NZ Police" - their way of deterring freeloaders.

3. Our neighbours' Wi-Fi is called we - can - hear - you - having - sex. We hope it refers to their other neighbours.

4. My local dentist had a router called "Portal to the love cave."

- NZ Herald

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