Sideswipe: April 24: Don't bag the team

Spotted in Browns Bay. Photo / Supplied

Spotted in Browns Bay. Talk about bagging a team when they lose.

Treadmill not spectator sport

Andrew writes: "Do the hundreds of pedestrians and drivers on Quay St who gormlessly stare at people on treadmills at Les Mills Britomart think that we can't see them? It's a glass window and you're only two metres away! I can see you and it's rude to stare! You wouldn't stare at me if I was mowing my lawn, walking down the road, or pushing a trolley around Countdown, so why do you think it's acceptable just because I'm on a treadmill? I'm exercising, not busking. I'll take it as a compliment and assume you're only doing it so that you can witness the fitness and enjoy looking at my muscular thighs bounding along, but it is a little off-putting and you look silly. A guy on a treadmill isn't worth gawping at. So please stop."

Kids are classic ...

1. My two young sons were being driven to the hospital to see their new baby sister. Four-year-old says, "What's a caesarean?" Eight-year-old answers: "Remember Mummy said you're a Sagittarian and I'm an Aquarian. Well, Renee is a caesarean!"

2. My daughter asked her 2-year-old to put his shoes on and get into his car seat. "Pear eat," he said. She told him that there were no pears and to please get into his car seat. This went on for several days until my daughter suddenly realised he was actually saying "bare feet".

3. One evening many moons ago, when I was 8, a friend of mine came over to play after tea. We were just finishing a lovely meal of stew with lots of gravy. Dad as usual picks up a slice of bread and wipes the plate clean. Mum turns to Brian and says do you clean your plates like that? Oh no, says Brian, we wash ours.

Essential to life

According to News of the Weird ... "When workers at the Carlsberg Beer plant in Vilnius, Lithuania, decided to walk out over poor pay and conditions, the company went to court to block them, and a judge ruled for the company, temporarily halting a strike as not in the national interest because Carlsberg Beer is 'vitally essential,' thus placing the brew in the same legal category as medical supplies."