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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe</i>: A race apart

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
10 Sep, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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They might frighten the locals.

They might frighten the locals.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

This ad in the Whangamata paper appealed to Jo: "Free to good home, two mature sheep. Prefer vegan or vegetarian family."

* * *

Pet peeves (continued) - Last morsel paralysis (when everyone is too polite to take the last piece of cake).

* Sandwiches stuffed full at the front
for display, but empty dry bread at the back.

* People who spend two hours chasing a dozen leaves around their gardens with a whining leaf-blower (buy a rake, it's quicker and quiet).

* Men who try to disguise their pot bellies by wearing long untucked shirts. (You're not fooling anyone.)

* The use of "gate" to describe any scandal. Especially as Watergate was not about water.

* Over-straightened hair (ladies, you look like you've been stuffed headfirst into a vat of olive oil and gone over with a lice comb).

* * *

A follow-up to the story about people wanting to get married on 09-09-09: "My son Aditya was born on 07-07-07 and at 7 minutes past midnight in Auckland, on the 7th day of the week. Doctors called him James Bond and wrote on the board his name was 0:07. Our house was numbered 1/77 and our phone number contains three sevens. In India we used to live in a house numbered 7."

* * *

To Margaret Wong on sheep segregation: "I would imagine it's to keep the wool colour separate and therefore it's easier to keep them apart altogether. Not one bit of black wool must 'contaminate' the white wool in the shearing shed, much of which is used for carpet. The black wool is generally used by natural homespun garment-makers. Also it could be that the rams are allowed to run all year with the ewes because the birth date of lambs is not as important. Again the breeds must be kept separate. Or maybe it's because they are renting a paddock from the farmer ..."

* * *

A man took his girlfriend hiking on Sunday on the Billy Goat Trail, on national parkland near Great Falls in Maryland. He popped the question. She said yes. As they continued their walk, she apparently slipped, fell down a rock face and was injured. Because they had no way to reach her easily, emergency services staff called in a US Park Police helicopter to pluck her off the path. Authorities said the woman, who briefly lost consciousness, had bumps and bruises and injuries to her head and chest that were not life-threatening. "That must have been a heck of a proposal," joked Assistant Chief Scott Graham of the Montgomery County Fire and Rescue Service. "I believe she did say yes. If she didn't, I think we ought to investigate this one." (Source: Washington Post)

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: Kitsch Frisbee scene from action movie Hard Ticket To Hawaii made in 1987. Pure cheese! Go here and scroll down.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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