Roger Moroney: TV question time ... or nap time?

Simon Gault, here with a fine weight-watching caesar salad, looks at why we are getting larger and what can we do to address it.

I suspect it is an age thing, because when things don't seem to go the way you want them then the easy way out is to say it's an "age thing".

So when I glance at the bedside clock and notice the '1' has become a '2' and it's not far away from changing to the '3' ... in the 'AM' sense.

Sleeplessness.

Insomnia ... I suspect it is an "age thing".

I read somewhere once that the older you get, the less sleep you need, which, given the way it's going now, means if I arrive at the age of 90 I shall only require a three minute nap.

So I started working on getting my brain to give up on me and switch itself off.

I started thinking about television - more specifically, television westerns.

And I started thinking single word titles.

I've done this with the names of musical groups and album titles so turned to the wild, wild west and racked up seven shows which today would likely be adjudged to be politically incorrect as everyone entering a bar was allowed to carry a firearm and the Indian tribes who had inhabited the outlands for centuries before the cowboys arrived all appeared to have bullseye targets on their backs.

So I got Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Maverick, Rawhide, Cheyenne, Laramie and Branded.

But the problem with doing something this, and I suspect it's an "age thing", is that the more you get the more you become convinced there must be more.

But I couldn't trawl up any more ... so started coming up with single-name titles of TV shows which were the names of the lead character.

Like Matlock and Ironside and Poldark.

Then out from the long-closed doors of my mind emerged Columbo, Cannon and Kojak.

Crikey, I only needed one more to equal the seven westerns of single word titles and I hooked up Seinfeld.

Then I remembered Frasier and realised I'd tolled together eight.

So, with sleep still but an elusive psychological state, I wondered how many one-word English comedies there might be out there.

I got Blackadder straight away then scratched the mental archives to uncover Porridge and Bottom.

And that was that.

I slumbered off to sleep ... and next thing I knew the '7' had come up on the clock.

So I wondered how many films and shows out there have the word 'seven' in them and got The Magnificent Seven, Seven Deadly Sins and Seven Samurai ... and I promptly went back to sleep and accordingly was late for work.

While on the way I started musing over how many song titles had the word 'late' in them and came up with three.

When I got to work I started wondering how many song titles have the word 'work' in them and after coming up with three went back to sleep again.

Later, I was rightly unable to come up with any songs with the words "missed the appointment" in them.

However, when it comes to television shows which start with the word 'The' I had no problems at all.

There are millions of them.

Ooh, there's another one ... shows with numbers in the title like The Six Million Dollar Man and Three's Company and The Two of Us.

At the end of the day such trivial wordage pursuits are beneficial and do have the ability to eventually provide slumber because it's like counting sheep.

Ooh, shows that had an animal's name in the title.

There's Lassie, Mr Ed, Rin Tin Tin ... no sheep though.

I think I need to lie down now.

And watch a cooking show?

Well, not really, although there is a top chef lining up a three-part viewing dish starting on Sunday although it's not your run-of-the-mill cooking show as he is effectively suggesting some people should carve back on eating.

The title cuts to the chase ... Why Are We So Fat?

● Why Are We So Fat? Prime at 8.30pm Sunday. Leading chef Simon Gault embarks on a mission to uncover the reasons why so many Kiwis have embarked on gaining more weight than they should have over the past few years, and importantly, what can we do about it?

Don't eat junk ... that's my take on it.

Wonder how many shows have a question mark in the title.

There's Are You Being Served? and ... yep, nap time.

ON THE BOX

● War on Waste, Choice at 7.30pm Thursday: Great title for a dieting show if the waste was a waist.

However, this is an insight into how the amount of waste being generated across Australia has surged over the past couple of decades.

Ditto for probably everywhere I daresay.

Where do they put it all? That's the dilemma here, as Craig Reucassel explores the ways in which waste can be reduced.

It is a difficult task to achieve as the general attitude is 'if it's no longer any good just chuck it out'.

Who cares what happens to it.

Fortunately more people are beginning to care about it ... like the little kid I saw drop an ice block wrapper but then pick it up and put it in the bin.

Good lad ... but where does the wrapper go from there?

● All Blacks vs Argentina, Sky Sport 1 from 6.30pm (Prime at 8.30pm) Saturday: Well, the All Blacks have put the Bledisloe Cup to bed so now it is on to placing a thing called the 2017 Rugby Championship in the target sights.

That means embarking on soirees with Argentina and South Africa for the most unimaginatively named piece of silverware in world rugby.

The Rugby Championship?

Crikey, up in Europe they have the Six Nations Championship which sounds great. We get the Rugby Championship.

Why not Southern Nations Rugby Cup or the Sanzaar Championship Trophy?

So anyway, we take on twice-beaten Argentina this Saturday and the twice-beaten Aussies take on South Africa ... who have two from two like us.

Starts to get rather interesting now.