Newstalk ZB's Steph Rowe on the latest Bachelor installment
If you were ever going to watch an episode of this terrible show, make it this one. Get the popcorn ready, this is going to be one hell of a rundown.
The girls tried Muay Thai. Muay Thai, for anyone who isn't aware, is the Gloriavale of fighting. You live in the branded gear 24/7, you practice the sport like a religion and you are only friends with other fighters. Likely you only breed with other fighters too.
All the more entertaining then, when these Bachelor princesses showed up and were so feeble they looked like they'd lose against a fight to a teddy bear.
Except for Lily, who played dirty and kicked the instructor when he wasn't expecting it. 10/10 from you Lily, you dirty thing. And it wasn't the only NSFW move she pulled...
Next was the ice bath. That's right. ICE BATH. The most impressive human was Hannah. Hannah draws her strength straight from her eyebrows. Everyone told her to get out and she was just chillin' in the icy conditions/basking in victory. She should have been given a rose then and there.
Least impressive in the ice bath was Zac who didn't bother getting in. Draw your own conclusions.
Hannah and Zac then went on a romantic Muay Thai fighting experience. Hannah beat Zac up and then called him a douche for not giving her a rose. Sock it to him Hannah, we know you have it in you.
In other news, Bel finally cracked. How long have we waited for this moment people?! Instead of accepting the rose Zac offered, she had a cry fest, took Zac away and asked if he liked the other girls more than her. In a very obvious way he said said he liked other girls more but Bel's too thick to figure out what's going on and took the rose anyway.
WHY IS SHE STILL HERE?! GET OUT BEL!
It'll take a couple of days for her to process this conversation but when she does she'll hopefully leave on her own terms.
Finally, we have Karina (Ivanka Trump) who got the boot. Ivanka always looks like she's hunting for food. Her eyes are always searching for the nearest Maccas, I swear.
One intruder down. Two to go.
• Steph Rowe is the social media editor for Newstalk ZB