Vegan in quagmire

A vegan contemplates breaking up with his girlfriend for wearing a hot dog costume. On the Vegan UK Facebook page, James asks: "How would you deal with this? Would you still kiss her or show PDA's whilst at the party. Or would you break up with her?"

Smarter than your average sheep

"My son has a 19-year-old sheep, on a lifestyle block where he lives," writes Margaret Stockley. "Rastus has a great life and is a fussy eater: every morning he gets two slices of white toast bread, Budget brand. No matter what other brands he has been offered, he walks away from them, after a thorough sniff. If one slice is only given, the sheep won't leave, but stamps his front foot until the second slice is produced. And even if a bite has been taken out of the slice or cut in half, he will not have anything to do with it."

"I think that I shall never see / A poem as lovely as a WHAT THE HELL IS THAT..." tweets Darryn King @darrynking

Scam caller shows true colours when rumbled

We had the following phone conversation last night ...

Caller: Hello, can I pls speak to the person in charge of your home computer?

Me: Who is speaking pls?

Caller: (repeats question)

Me: That's me. How can I help you? Who is calling? (At this point I knew what was happening!)

Caller: I am from Windows support (yeh right!)

Me: Oh, okay. You need to speak with my husband then (he's an IT guru! Lol!)

Caller: Hi, I am from Microsoft support. You have a problem with your computer.

Hubby: We don't have a computer

Caller: Yes you do, your wife told me

Hubby: No, we don't have a computer

Caller: Put your wife on

Hubby: No. She is busy

Caller: Put your wife on now

Hubby: She can't come to the phone because she is on the phone to the police to trace this call ...

Caller: Well, tell your wife she is a f***ing sl*t!

Hubby: (he hung up!)

Quick clip: You know where this is going, right? "All the elements are there: the crowd of onlookers, the steep flight of concrete steps, and the policeman in the helmet and the high-vis yellow jacket, who was apparently on hand to demonstrate cycling safety to children. It was only ever going to go one way."

Video: Underwater and upside down synchronised swimmers

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