Momentary lapses of intelligence
1. One summer evening my teenage son elected to sit in the car and play with his phone while we picked up something from the supermarket. Got back to find him hot and sweaty. "Why didn't you open the door?" I asked. "Because the alarm would have gone off. Couldn't lower the window because you have the keys," he said. "This car has no alarm. And the window is lowered using the crank handle beside you," I replied.
2. I once frantically texted my sister to say that I couldn't find my phone.
3. At a job I worked long ago, the crew boss had forgotten he had agreed to give Dave a ride home that night. We cut lawns at various places, and Dave wasn't so good at it. We drove past one of those places on the way home, and he started ranting, "bloody Dave, he missed half that lawn, and it looks terrible. That guy is as dumb as a rock". Dave quietly spoke up from the back seat, "I'm trying my best".
It was pretty quiet for the rest of the ride home.
Temptation never tasted so bad
"I used to commute to mining/exploration sites in Western Australia," writes a reader. "There was a Piper Aztec we frequently used for the two hour flight to and from Wiluna. Flying back to Perth, and being a bit bored, I found a new bag of prunes on the back seat, so naturally, I thought I'd help myself to a couple. This was when I discovered they were 'salted prunes' [who would invent such a thing?], possibly the worst tasting food I've ever eaten. It's a taste that doesn't go away, and with no water on board, I had to sit out the next hour trying to conjure up enough saliva to wash it out while my brother and our pilot giggled away up front."
Good read: "In an area of China that is prone to serious accidents Longhua Funeral Parlor has decided to offer 3D printing to repair damaged bodies before they're put on display to spare the sensibilities of the deceased's family members and friends. Those who can afford it will be able to repair damaged bodies by 3D printing replacement parts. The technology can be used to make corpses appear younger or better looking and the parlor also does hair implants and adds makeup." Read more here.
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