"I have ambition but don't have a heart. I hear that the Wizard can give me something resembling an emotional response to the needs of poor people as I fail to understand why they don't own a few houses," said the Tin Man.
"Whenever I think about ordinary people I get the heebeejeebees."
While going around the bend, they heard a loud roar. They clutched each other and tried to hide behind parliamentary privilege.
A Lion, dressed as Andrew Little, appeared with paws over his ears.
"Sorry for saying 'sorry' but I'm sorry the roar slipped out when I was yawning. My roar is just a bluff as I am not brave enough to do anything," the Lion said.
In uncertain unison the others responded: "We are off to see the Wizard Key to get smarter about education, a heart that understands poor people and how to find our way back to the beehive."
"Can I join you?" asked the Lion. "Perhaps the Wizard can help me as I lack the courage of my convictions."
"Convictions," said the Tin Man. "What convictions do you have?"
"No, no," said the Lion. "Not the criminal kind - I mean some actual chutzpah, the ability to person-up and think about what I really believe in."
They decided to include the Lion in their quest provided he did not roar without warning them first.
Suddenly, Winston, the Wicked Witch of the North, appeared on a bridge over the yellow brick road and told them that as immigrants they were not welcome because they talked foreign, bought property and would steal jobs from the Munchkins.
Dorothy clicked her magic gumboots and the Witch vanished in a puff of cigar smoke, muttering about the sudden need to get to a table at his favourite restaurant.
A bit further along they entered a Red Zone where Gerry the Witch of the South was constructing excuses and setting out road cones to redirect responsibility.
At last they arrived at the palace of the Wizard. There was the sound of shuffling inside then a man appeared at the door.
They expected some sort of grandly dressed Wizard-ish, heroic person but the man was only a former currency trader, muttering about being interrupted while counting his money.
They explained why they were there. He listened while smiling and waving into the distance.
"Actually, I can't help you - I'm not a real Wizard, just a politician maintaining an image to avoid doing anything meaningful to alleviate inequalities.
"But I can help you keep your sense of entitlement - just say a lot about inequalities but do nothing."
-Terry Sarten is a writer, musician, social worker and Satirista. Feedback: tgs@inspire.net.nz
