Liza Iliffe from Skip Wanganui. Photo/File
Last week we talked about children's tantrums and ways to help prevent them.
This week seems a good time to look at how we can help our children feel safe and secure in their world, which will help reduce tricky behaviours.
SKIP has some great magnets, one of which says: "Have as few rules as possible and stick to them.". Here are some ideas to help with what that could look like.
Children's behaviour is influenced by the situation they are in. If they are in a room full of china ornaments, natural curiosity leads them to learn about them by touching them. If they are in a supermarket, they see things they want.
As adults, we can structure these situations to avoid problems before they arise.
It has been said that "prevention is the best cure" and often adults do things inadvertently that increase the chances of children behaving their way into trouble. If we fine-tune some of these things, it makes life less stressful for all concerned.
Children need to be able to explore and touch what is in their play space. Nature has genetically designed them to learn this way - but usually computers and fine china are not in the parents' "explorable and touchable" category. However, this doesn't stop them from placing these items in accessible places.
With time, children will learn not to touch precious things unless they've been given the OK - but we need to be realistic and not mess with nature's wiring for exploration by constantly saying: "Don't touch!"
The idea of routine freaks out some parents. They seem to imagine it as an inflexible, army-like way to manage family life in addition to their daily workload and pressures, but it doesn't have to be like that.
The latest research from the Brainwaves Trust shows that, from as early as birth, infants benefit from routines. From these they grow to know what to expect - familiarity with routine and a knowledge of what is expected as a contribution are supporting foundations for growing co-operation in the family.
We need our children to learn what respect is. We need to role-model it for them so they can learn these important life lessons that will support them throughout their lives into healthy work and personal relationships.
We need to give to our children what we want to receive from them. Albert Einstein once said that teaching by example isn't one way - it is the only way.
Everyone sees the world through the eyes of the culture in which they were raised. It is one of the things that gives our family its uniqueness.
It is an important part of who we are - part of our identity - and needs full respect at all times.
When we work with others from a different culture or even a different part of our own culture, we need to be 100 per cent mindful that ours is not the "only way", but only "my way".
Many treasures can be found in working with those who hold a cultural world view different to our own. If we keep our minds and hearts open, we may tune in to the old wisdoms that others hold in their lives, wisdoms that have been passed down as a legacy.
We may even like to embrace some of these and hold them a little nearer to our own hearts. We do not have to give up anything of our own to do this, and we will only grow richer for it.
SKIP has a free bilingual parenting resource, Whakatipu, that helps us understand what to expect at each stage of our child's development from birth to five years. For a set, contact Liza and Lynette at SKIP Whanganui, 345 3008, 027 626 1404 or send an email to skipwanganui@xtra.co.nz