Internal chatter can lead you up the garden path

My hobby is a curious one; I am fascinated by human development and could talk some poor sod's ear off for hours about it if I was given half the chance! Why am I like this? Who knows! But to deny this hunger inside of me would be like starving some deep part of me, which I know from past experience would be far too compromising on my health. I know that when I feed my soul, or that breath that lies within me, life is different from when I don't. I can literally feel or sense inside of me the 'inner voice' but sometimes it gets lost in translation when my 'head' talk gets in the way. Once I can master what's what, I reckon I would have cracked it!
However, after many years I still battle with head versus heart as we often hear it termed. The 'head' talk can be quite the trickster sometimes, and can lead us up the garden path with the best of logic. Another way of describing this 'chatter' that goes on inside of us would be the conscious and the subconscious mind and one feeds the other which feeds the other and round and round the chatter goes. To discern what's good for us and what's not I have found is just a work in progress and we will only know the answer to our own 'truth' or those bigger questions simply by trial and error. Yes, that means we have to fail to succeed, which means we need to step into unknown territory at times. Sometimes we have to take risks and face our vulnerabilities. It means that at times we have to not be in control to gain more control! And let's face it, how many of us actually seek that out? I certainly don't go looking for it, but I have come to recognise that sometimes life just becomes so hard and paths blocked that I feel almost forced to 'let go' and simply have faith. It wasn't that long ago when my body mind and spirit were so weak that I was barely functioning and when we become so powerless in ourselves we can lose sight of who we think we are. Lines can become blurry in our minds. In my work, I don't know how many times I've heard people say, "I don't know who I am anymore." ... The bad news is that it's scary when you 'lose' yourself, but the good news is that there is an opportunity to create exactly the sort of person you want or aspire to be. However, easy to say and difficult to do when energy or power levels are minimal. So we have to start with small goals. Goals are reflective of passions. Every person's goal has some personal meaning behind it even if we aren't consciously aware of it. For example, I was initially drawn to group fitness, or aerobics back then, simply because I LOVE to move my body to music. What has fallen out of following that passion some nearly 30 years ago has been an incredible journey which I have and still are so grateful for. This is the stuff that mana's all about, and mana seems to increase every time I follow my heart. One of my more recent goals is to learn Te Reo because the language of Maori seems to capture something which is more symbolic of universal and ancient truths which feels far superior than 'words'. Sometimes words or logic just don't 'cut it' but there should always remain a place for them. I have to believe that it's possible we can do both, in that our head and our heart can communicate with each other, but we have to keep practising.
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