I have a cousin I have seen very infrequently over the years who had a vastly different viewpoint to mine when it came to Christmas. She had three children and they were told from the get-go there was no such thing as Santa and all gifts were courtesy of her and her husband. She thought pretending Santa existed was misleading. I fully respect her decision, but what I hadn’t banked on was that she was going to be so vocal about it – in front of my young daughter. When she started to extol the virtues of her beliefs, I couldn’t move my daughter out of the room fast enough. Life is tough enough without the magic of Christmas being destroyed when you’re not even 5.
Can I just say, Christmas is a whole different ball game if you have enough money. It’s still quite a stressful, busy time but you don’t live in a constant state of panic that you simply can’t afford it. This is why I have the problem with Christmas starting early. The pressure it is putting on families is palpable. I have noticed the stress on people’s faces lately at the supermarket. It can be a minefield of misery, and if you add having to buy food for the festive season and gifts to that, it is enough to almost tip you over the edge. I have seen people having more and more arguments in the supermarkets due to stress and it really makes me feel very sad.
It’s difficult to write about this without sounding like the Christmas Grinch, but I would imagine that there will be a lot of people trying to work out how to do Christmas in a more creative way this year so they don’t spend money they simply don’t have. Oh, and don’t start me on Afterpay. That is a recipe for disaster.
I get it. At the root of it all is the desire to see your children and family happy. Not being able to afford to lay it all on during this supposedly happy time can make one feel like a failure. It’s a horrible feeling of inadequacy. The Christmas before last, I had to regift something to my daughter. Try that for feeling like a loser. Even though I had tried to manage her expectations, she (like most children) still thought I would be able to magic up gifts. There was no magic left in this Fairy Godmother’s wand. I was all out that year. My wand remains devoid of magic, gathering dust in the corner.
A friend of mine has always said, “Money gives you choices.” You don’t know how true that is until you have none. I have planned down to the finest detail what I would do if I won Lotto and, funnily enough, it’s not about what I would get for myself, it is what I could do to make the lives of those I love better, happier and a bit easier.
My attitude towards Christmas is the same. I don’t ever want anything for me, it’s about pleasing other people - my daughter most of all. We have a double whammy at that time of the year. Her birthday is New Year’s Eve.
I’m choosing to look at things with a positive lens this Christmas. I will be spending it with my parents. I am lucky to have them. I will be house-sitting for a family, so I am preferring to think of it as a stay-cation. Same city, different house. Winning. I have a dog to cuddle and walk – always good for the soul. The beauty of all these things is they cost nothing but are very valuable, whether you have money or not.
I know Christmas is creeping ever-nearer and there is no escaping it, but something else which doesn’t cost much and you can contribute a small amount to is the City Mission Foodbank Drive. It’s happening on Thursday evening. I have helped at this for the last two years and it is mighty good for the soul. Even if you can give one can of something, you can feel like you are making a difference.
So, I’m not ready for it, but Christmas will come and go and then it will be in the rearview mirror. In the meantime, if I have to go to the shops, I’ll wear a blindfold and earplugs.
