A few gems making American news

Hollyweed?

¦ A Louisiana tax commissioner has been forced from office for ... not paying his taxes! Jimmie T, a New Orleans businessman who sits (sat) on the state tax commission, bought property in the city in the early 1980s and hasn't paid a cent in taxes on it, running up an outstanding bill of $140,000!
¦ Cops in Winter Haven, Florida, are hunting for a thief who was caught on video hauling a gumball machine away from a restaurant. The crook told employees he was taking it away to be fixed before loading it in his car and driving off.
¦ Austin, Texas, cops pulled over Florentino H, for driving erratically. But a squad-car dash-cam caught him trying to hide cocaine in a fold of stomach fat. He was charged with DUI and evidence tampering. Fat chance he could fool those cops!
¦ Alvin N was sentenced to four years in prison for robbing a bank in San Diego. Moments before demanding money he inexplicably swiped his ATM card in a reader at the teller's window - revealing his identity,
¦ Don't you know me? Bette Midler, who is going to be starring in Broadway's Hello Dolly must have been surprised when she glanced up at the theatre billboard to find she had been replaced by none other than 'Bett Middler'. Ah, what's in a name?
¦ New Year's Day brought a smile to Los Angeles residents who awoke to see their famous HOLLYWOOD sign had been adapted to read HOLLYWEED! The sign is 'high' above the LA landscape.
¦ Berks County, Pennsylvania, police officers are friendly, helpful civil servants. Twenty 4th and 5th grade students from 20 Berks schools were each given $100 to buy Christmas presents for their family members and themselves. A police officer from each district accompanied students on their shopping trip.
¦ Ugly! Horrible! Choose your word! Chicago ended 2016 with 762 homicides, the most in two decades in the city and more than New York and Los Angeles combined.
¦ The right to bear arms? The United States again ranked first in global weapons sales in figures released for 2015. Deals for about $40 billion, or half of all agreements in the worldwide arms bazaar, were far ahead of second place getter with $15 billion in sales. Developing nations continued to be the largest buyers of arms, with Qatar signing deals for more than $17 billion in weapons, followed by Egypt, ($12 billion), and Saudi Arabia, ($8 billion).
¦ According to the National (USA) Highway Traffic Safety Administration during the New Year's holiday period from December 31 (6 pm) to Jan 5 (6 am), the nation lost 31 lives a day in drunk-driving crashes. The highest percentage (28 per cent) was in the 21 to 24 year old age group, and of children 14 and under fatalities, 16 per cent occurred in alcohol-impaired driving crashes.
Let's hope for all Midweek readers the rest of the year is one of joy, prosperity and good health!