"The administration lady I spoke to said the school wouldn't enrol my son unless both parents agreed."
It was then he received the email from St Mary's principal Chris Gullery, which the father said was "absolutely disgraceful".
In the email, Mr Gullery said the father and his ex-wife "appear to need help reaching consensus! What was said about you is [sic] certainly appears correct. Schools have to work with the parents they're given unlike parents who can generally choose their school. Thank God I don't have to work with you. It is going to be a whole lot more caring and peaceful without you here as a parent."
The father said he sent a copy of that email to the principal at St Marcellin School, who suggested the father seek legal advice or at least go the St Mary's School board of trustees.
As soon as he got Mr Gullery's email, the father phoned him and asked for an explanation.
"Chris said he wasn't going to 'waste my time with you. All the allegations about you and reputation you've got is correct'. I asked him to explain what he meant by that but he hung up," the father said.
"I rang back and asked him to email me back with an explanation of his allegations but I never heard back from him. I contacted the board chairman that same day and she said what the principal wrote should never have been put in the email.
"That started the ball rolling. Chris came back with an apology but that's not satisfactory to me. Tracey Culver [St Mary's board of trustees chair] said they had investigated my complaint but thought Chris' apology was adequate.
"That's when I told them I was going to your paper and will, if need be, send all these emails to the Wellington Catholic Schools Association."
The father said he heard nothing until he got another email from Ms Culver saying his complaint was on the agenda for a board meeting set down for December 15 and an outcome would be emailed to him.
The Chronicle asked Mrs Culver if the board was going to take any action against Mr Gullery.
Mrs Culver said the board had a process for such matters and the situation was under review.
"When there is a complaint about any person, group or situation in a school or workplace, there is frequently more than one side to the issue," she said. "
"However, we can make no current comment because of privacy requirements. In due course we may issue a statement.
"The board has full confidence in its principal and I refer you to our consistent history of excellent, complimentary ERO reviews."
The father said he had not sought legal advice and did not want to go down that track "but I want him [Mr Gullery] to be disciplined in the manner anyone else would for saying what he did.
"What I want to know is what Chris Gullery means by allegations made about me and my reputation. His email is absolutely disgusting.
"He's bringing his school into disrepute, bringing the Catholic schools into disrepute."
THE EMAILS
November 30, 6.39am, the father emails Mr Gullery telling him his son "would not be moving to your school next year. Unless you receive my written consent or an order by the Family Court [his son] is not to be enrolled into St Mary's."
November 30, 7.33am, Mr Gullery replies: "Dear [father]. The pair of you appear to need help reaching consensus! What was said about you is [sic] certainly appears correct. Schools have to work with the parents they're given unlike parents who can generally choose their school. Thank God I don't have to work with you. It is going to be a whole lot more caring and peaceful without you here as a parent."
November 30, 8.27am, the father emails Tracey Culver, chair of the St Mary's board of trustees with a copy of the email from Mr Gullery. He said he was disgusted with the email "and disgusted in what he said to me over the phone in regards to accusations that have been made against me, and apparently the reputation I have. The fact that he wasn't going to waste his time talking to me and hanging up the phone is a disgrace to the school and using God's name in vain is disgusting. I wish this to proceed as a formal complaint to the board of trustees to deal with."
December 5, 11.22am, Mr Gullery emails the father. He said he and Mrs Culver had discussed the father's complaint "and the action I need to take. I am sorry you were upset by the way I communicated with you and apologise."
December 5, 12.12pm, the father emails Mrs Culver saying Mr Gullery's emailed apology was "not sufficient". He said he expected a full board investigation into the principal's actions and a written response from the board. "If I had spoken and emailed to a client of mine in the way Chris spoke and emailed myself I would be facing disciplinary action, therefore further investigations need to be taken."
December 7, 5.15pm, Mrs Culver emails the father: "I would like to advise you this matter has been investigated and advice has been sought. I have also spoken to Chris and we both agree that the email and conversation could have been handled in a more professional manner but I am satisfied that his apology is sincere and therefore will not be taking this matter any further."
December 7, 5.19pm, the father emails Mrs Culver telling her that he had spoken with the Wanganui Chronicle "and I will also forward all emails to the Wellington Catholic Schools Association".
December 14, 11.32am, Ms Culver emails the father: "It has been decided that your complaint will be on the agenda at our board meeting tonight. I will be in touch with the outcome."