Jesse Mulligan Auckland Restaurant Review: Nanny’s In Kingsland Offers Jamaican Cuisine With A Side Of Personality

Is Jesse about to offend a restaurant owner with this review? We’ll find out...

In all my years reviewing I’ve never come across a restaurant quite so reliant on the personality of one single staff member. Jamaican-Kiwi owner JP Porteous is really the entire experience at Nanny’s. If you like him, you will like the restaurant; if not, it may be a long night.

I wrote almost those exact words to describe a maitre d’ a few years back and he banned me from his restaurant. Is it really that offensive a thing to say? We will find out I guess, if I get a cross email from JP. But he must know that his decision to turn the banter up to 11 from the moment customers walk in until the moment they leave won’t suit everyone. Personally I liked it, and plenty of people will feel like me.

“Two glasses of Prosecco please,” said a woman who’d just arrived with her boyfriend.

“Certainly,” said JP, turning to the boyfriend. “And would you like anything to drink?”

A comedy classic. But he was just getting started.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed for a private function!” he yelled at a group of what I presumed to be regulars coming in through the front door. They ignored him and sat down anyway. Midway through their meal, one of them got up and collected my a drink from the bar. Was she a staff member? I think so.

He insisted on ordering the food “super spicy” for a couple of first-timers sitting next to me even though one of them was clearly signalling her discomfort at the prospect. A young woman popped in to use the bathrooms and he pretended to charge her for the privilege. You get the idea. It never stops.

It’s technically a rum bar and though I’ve never understood this particular liquor (a nice Kiwi entrepreneur sent me a bottle of his boutique-distilled creation and asked for feedback – I had to be honest and tell him it tasted like paint stripper), it’s possible that I should have been drinking golden rum rather than white. JP convinced me to take a taste of one of his favourites and I liked it much better. But I couldn’t resist a gin-based cocktail: the King’s Breakfast made with raspberry, strawberry, lemon and elderflower, is one of the loveliest pre-dinner drinks I’ve had in Auckland.

The food is Jamaican, and if you haven’t been here before, the closest experience in Auckland is probably a barbecue restaurant. You choose a large meat protein then order some sides, which include an excellent rice and beans, a solid coleslaw and a glorious macaroni cheese. There is a selection of good hot sauces on each table.

I must have hesitated a second too long on the menu because JP took it back off me and said, “I will choose some food for you”. I don’t usually like ceding control but he did me a favour, going off-menu to create a “tasting plate” of his best dishes. I suspect I was getting the restaurant reviewer treatment at this point but I checked at the end of the meal and he confirmed that anyone can order this selection.

“The locals just ask for whatever they want,” he said.

The jerk chicken is his signature dish, and he takes a lot of care with its preparation. He rubs and marinades it with dark powdered spices, then grills it, bakes it and grills it again to give it a little extra smoke before plating. It’s a lovely dish, unlike anything you can get elsewhere, and you should put it on your Auckland eating bucket list.

I’m not a pork belly guy but his is one of the better versions, roasted until properly rendered with more of that Jamaican spice. Surprisingly though, the standout dish for me was that mac and cheese, which was tasty, yellow and sharp, unlike the tepid, milky versions you get almost everywhere else.

“What’s your secret with the macaroni?” I asked him.

He meant that he doesn’t bother making a roux, and if this is the result then I’m all for it. It’s like something out of an American instant meal box, but in a good way.

I also loved the jalapeno poppers – not the usual stuffed chillis but a ball of cheesy goo, crumbed and fried and spiked with fragments of pickled peppers. He served them with a bottle of sweet mango chilli sauce that was a brilliant match.

Nanny’s closed in March for family reasons, then opened again a few months later. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this as a business strategy but it was enough to get me through the door, as well as the couple next to me. Sometimes all you need is a prompt, and so here is one from me: Nanny’s is one of the most unique restaurants in Auckland, and if you want to support a diverse, colourful city, vote with your feet and visit.

Nanny’s

Cuisine: Jamaican

Address: 492 New North Rd, Kingsland

Phone: 022 319 2364

Drinks: fully licensed

Reservations: accepted

From the menu: ¼ jerk chicken $29, 250g jerk pork belly $29, mac n cheese $11, rice n peas $10, slaw $8 (combos available); jalapeno poppers $20

Rating: 16/20

Score: 0-7 Steer clear. 8-12 Disappointing, give it a miss. 13-15 Good, give it a go. 16-18 Great, plan a visit. 19-20 Outstanding, don’t delay.

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