Actor & Comedian Johanna Cosgrove’s Beauty Routine Is No Joke

Fresh off the NZ International Comedy Festival circuit, Johanna Cosgrove shares how her stage makeup befits her Sweetie persona.

Johanna Cosgrove is busy basking in that post-awards glow.

Earlier this week, the actor, comedian and writer was awarded Director’s Choice at the New Zealand International Comedy Festival for Sweetie, directed by Jess Joy Wood.

It’s the show Johanna has performed both in Aotearoa and across the ditch – most recently to crowds who filed into Auckland’s Basement Theatre from May 13 to 17, primed with a glass of white wine and ready to laugh until they cried.

They did.

There’s really no excuse not to be familiar with the comedy darling.

She’s graced our TV screens as Jaz in Three’s Madam, makes up half of the podcast Rats In The Gutter, which she co-hosts with friend and fellow creative Samuel Te Kani, she has written for Shortland Street, and exercised her penchant for performing in countless theatre productions and short films.

She’s wickedly funny, yes, but - as the name of her show suggests – she’s a total sweetie.

It’s hardly surprising then that she’s amassed a growing fanbase of loyalists (me included) and has teamed up with some of the most lauded female comedians, including Justine Smith, Elouise Eftos, Rhiannon McCall, Hayley Sproull, Lana Walters and Liv McKenzie for the all-female comedy show, Goblin Girls.

Below, Johanna explains how her bold beauty looks help cement the vibe for her show, why she’s not a subscriber to the “clean girl” aesthetic, and how you’ll never find her caught with fewer than seven lipsticks in her handbag.

ASHLEIGH COMETTI: The electric blue eyeshadow and bright red lips from your Sweetie promo shoot are burned into my memory for all the right reasons. How does this bold makeup look capture the playful energy of your show?

JOHANNA COSGROVE: The makeup is essential! I refuse to do stand-up comedy in anything less than a fully realised visual concept (read: full costume and full beat). When I was writing Sweetie, I knew I wanted the vibe to be hot, punk, sweaty and dangerous – I was extremely inspired by Amy from Amyl and The Sniffers, photos from Kathleen Hanna in the 90s and the photographic work of Nadia Lee Cohen. The furious feminine, if you will. Something about the clash of blue and red, the nod to Liza Minnelli in Cabaret, and the theatricality of the 80s to the brow eyeshadow had me going ding ding ding, b***h!

AC: You’re no stranger to bold beauty looks and are often spotted donning blue liner or bright red lipstick. What are some of your signature beauty looks, and what do you love most about them?

JC: More is … more. I’ve always been a liquid eyeliner girl, and would go to high school with a big ole wing from an eyeliner that was $2 on Cuba St and could simply be peeled off at the end of the day (unintentional!). Red lipstick is timeless and, even though I’ve taken time away from her, I’m back on the bandwagon with the force of 10000 suns. I also support thick bushy dark brows, blush, lip liner, mascara and nothing else. I support glamour, I have absolutely no time for the “clean girl” TikTok aesthetic. Sue me!

READ: Is TikTok’s ‘Clean Girl’ Aesthetic Making Fashion, Well, Boring?

AC: What’s your beauty philosophy? Is this something that has changed or evolved over time?

JC: My auntie is a makeup artist and she once said to me, “perfect base, perfect face,” so keeping my skin healthy is priority numero uno. Beauty should always be fun, it should make you feel cool! It should make you feel sexy and powerful! No makeup and zits out can make me feel like the hottest girl on the planet of earth and so full of self-confidence that even my hormonal acne feels like art. But sometimes I need a full glitter cut crease (hello, 2016) and my cheekbones to be contoured like cut glass to even leave my house. It’s a spectrum! I will never be limited!

AC: Talk me through your daily beauty routine – both on show day and off. How are they different?

JC: SHOW DAY: Every time I’ve tried to incorporate a 10-step skincare routine, my face has responded by turning the texture and colour of red raw meat (derogatory). So now I keep it simple – lots of moisturiser! When I’m performing every night for months on end, I’ll do sheet masks for aftercare – the Garnier moisturising ones from the supermarket are a slay. You best believe I’ve also tried the overnight viral Korean skin care mask (they do work, but they are crazy). I’ll also do a gentle exfoliate once a week, I love the Emma Lewisham Illuminating Exfoliant. I don’t wear a lot of foundation, but I’ll always have a lip combo on – I’ll not be caught dead without at least seven lipsticks in my purse. Hair care is also important (I must protect all seven of my strands), so I use a scalp massager (also from the supermarket), HINU Hair Oil and try and minimise the amount of heat damage (velcro rollers are in – spread it).

OFF DAY: Cleanser, moisturiser, bit of sunscreen and black coffee almost spilt through my sheets.

AC: We all know that bright stage lights can be hot, hot, hot. How do you ensure your makeup lasts the distance and doesn’t slide off while you’re performing?

JC: At 16, there was nothing like a full can of hairspray straight on top of your L’Oreal Dream Matte Mousse to get you through $1 Bubbles Wednesdays at Establishment on Courtenay Place. It also causes your skin to flake like a croissant. This year I knew I’d need something more sustainable to handle the rivulets of sweat streaming out of me on this tour, so instead of foundation, I opted for a K-Beauty BB cream as my base (incredible coverage and designed to be good in humidity) with a light powder between bronzer (NARS) and blush (Mecca). I also used the Charlotte Tilbury Setting Spray like a firehose as well as M.A.C Stack Waterproof Mascara and Benefit Eyeliner that did not budge. My lip was M.A.C Locked Kiss Ink 24-Hour Lip Colour, which truly does what it says on the tin. Twenty-four hours, babe! Unmoveable! Loves it!

AC: What are your five favourite products of all time, and why?

JC:

HONOURABLE MENTION: CeraVe Oil Cleanser and a flannel. You don’t need anything else to get your face clean.

AC: Who do you consider your muses, both in comedy and in beauty?

JC: In comedy, Cat Cohen, Joan Rivers, Natasha Leggero, Julia Davis, Samuel Te Kani, the New Zealand comedy industry.

In beauty, Amy from Amyl and the Sniffers, Blondie, Kathleen Hanna, emo girls on Myspace, Nadia Lee Cohen, beauty influencer Not Another Hanna, Cher, any actress on Broadway from 1976-98, the movie Showgirls, and drag queens Trixie and Katya.

AC: Do you follow beauty trends? Or do you prefer to stick to what you know and love?

JC: I like to look for trends for inspiration, but ultimately I’ll happily reject them and do whatever I wish.

AC: What’s the funniest beauty advice you’ve ever received?

JC: “Underline your lips so they don’t look so big” - girl … wot.

AC: What’s your biggest beauty regret?

JC: Following the above advice. St Yves Scrub. Not getting into sunscreen until it was borderline too late. Not moisturising – dial 111!

AC: Beauty is...

JC: Vital!

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