Feel free to disagree, but we have never been as argumentative as we are today. And with an election bringing us debates both large and on TV, and small and over a coffee, this seems like a good time to brush up our debating skills and learn how to generate light instead of heat out of disagreements. Here’s our advice for how to come out on top, whether Jack Tame is ripping your tax policy to shreds or you’re disagreeing with a loved one over which coffee to buy. You’ll just need to hope your opponent hasn’t read this too.
Do
Go easy on the facts and stats. Although we like to think debating is about data and numbers, too much of a good thing will see your listener tune out as they try to absorb and evaluate your claims. There will always be a strong emotional component to winning an argument.
Try to be yourself. You may think you need to appear more confident or smarter or funnier or better informed than you really are. Your opponent can sniff a fake a mile off and this will always undermine your case.
Admit your weaker points. Not all your talking points will be slam-dunk zingers. But the weak ones contribute to the total, and confessing that they aren’t as robust as some others can be disarming and help get the other person onside.
Listen. Of course, what the other person has to say is load of fractious folderol that would embarrass a pre-school debating team, but you at least have to appear to be taking them seriously.
Ask for explanations. When people have to explain their contentions in detail they are forced to dig deeper, and the lack of facts behind their arguments can be exposed. Extremely effective with climate change sceptics.
Be different. Is your opponent the loud, frothing at the mouth type? Talk quietly and keep saliva spray to the absolute minimum. This obvious self-control will impress anyone else who’s listening and ultimately force your antagonist to alter their behaviour.
Make your facts fit their theory. For example, climate change deniers may be business people who are, consciously or not, worried about financial fallout from emissions bans. If you can show that tackling climate change will have economic benefits for them, you are more likely to convince them, even if they still don’t get the science.
Make ‘em laugh. It’s a low-down dirty unfair trick and your opponent will hate themselves for it, but it’s very hard to keep disagreeing with someone who’s making you laugh.
Keep your eye on the prize. The point of an argument is to reveal some sort of truth, not to show that you’re the smarter one.
Keep a balance. On the one hand of the argument, there is persuading someone, which appeals to the emotions; on the other, there is convincing someone, which relies on logic. Both have their part to play.
Be sexi. This acronym provides a structure for your argument. It stands for Statement, Explanation, Example, Importance. It was devised by Tin Puljić who won the 2021 World Universities Debating Championship even though English is not his first language.
Ask “What would Cicero do?” The ancient world’s most famous orator would do it with feeling. Cicero said the best orator was the one who could stir an audience’s emotions and was not above putting that aim ahead of getting the facts across.
Don’t
Be abusive. If you call that slimy two-faced lying excuse for a human being names, it could well backfire on you, you idiot.
Steamroll. Blustery shouty people who talk over others don’t tend to win audience’s hearts.
Skimp on the empathy. You can’t argue effectively with someone unless you know where they are coming from, ideologically or emotionally, so it’s in your interests to try to see things from their point of view and understand why they feel that way.
Try to make them see it your way. You can’t force anyone to think the way you do. But if you are an effective debater they will come around to your way of thinking naturally.
Don’t talk over your opponent. Obviously.
Finally, did you see how we had more dos than don’ts? That’s because positives make a better impression in an argument than negatives. Have we convinced you?
