After Couples Therapy debuted on the US Showtime network in 2019, it was hailed as “authentic”, “raw”, “delicious” and “addictive”. The idea of putting real people on TV to discuss their problems with a real relationship therapist – and not stitching up anyone afterwards in the edit suite – was an unexpected global hit.
And yet, there’s still an element of performance in the American show. They’re Americans. What would the same format look like with New Zealanders on the couch? A bit more down to earth? The answer, it turns out, is yes.
The first crop of couples presented on Couples Therapy New Zealand very much appears to be there because they want some help, rather than because they want to be on TV. There’s less drama.
“I think that’s real therapy,” says Amanda Cox, the Auckland psychotherapist who fills the role taken by Orna Guralnik in the original show. “There is drama in real therapy, too, but I’ve just finished watching the third series of the American one and it’s a different vibe, I think. New Zealanders are different, there is that. But it’s also the people that the producers chose.”
In the first episode, we meet Emma and Parrish (she’s tidy, he’s ADHD), Tino and Johann, whose challenges seem to come from the expectations of extended family, and Taryn and Stephen, who are working through his childhood trauma. They all come in with a reasonable idea of what their problems are and a store of good faith. They also do a remarkable job of not being self-conscious about the cameras.
“You can’t see the cameras,” Cox explains. “Everyone knows that there are cameras in the room, but it’s very easy to forget. And it makes it very real very quickly. Not that I would completely forget – you know how you know something’s there?”
Cox admits to having her own qualms when she was approached. She wasn’t a Couples Therapy viewer (“I haven’t even watched MAFS”) and “came in with some judgment” about the concept.
“But this is very different” from mainstream reality TV, she says. “I think the people editing and producing it have had a really honest approach – they want authenticity. And they want to make the best show they can. I’ve been really relieved about that.”
She hopes the show will “normalise” the idea of seeking some help.
“The couples are so generous and they’ve got their own unique reasons for doing this, but it’s normalising the therapeutic relationship. People might see these couples and think, okay, that didn’t look so bad, nobody died. It’s a real, authentic experience people are seeing, and I hope that doesn’t scare them. And, in fact, I hope it’s the opposite. I hope it encourages people to get help before it’s too late.”
This can’t, of course, account for our responses as viewers.
A Guardian reviewer last year frothed about how Couples Therapy was like “watching a game of football … you can enjoy the spectacle for the sheer thrill of the action, and choose who you prefer just by who is playing well”. It feels a bit icky making sport of people’s real emotional survival – but it is also almost impossible to watch and not offer some sideline commentary.
“There will be judgment,” says Cox. “‘Gosh, why would they do that?’ But I think we’re probably equally as much judging other couples anyway, on TV or not. Wouldn’t you say?”
Couples Therapy NZ Is available to watch on ThreeNow.
