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Home / Northland Age

The day of the lemmings arrives ...

By Frank Malley
Northland Age·
2 Jun, 2014 09:57 PM4 mins to read

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SO there he was, The Offsider, heading west to catch the first real swell of winter as the first true cold snap of the year hit on Monday last week. He had been alerted over the previous days by a weather report on the radio warning the country to prepare for a cold front bringing snow, hail and gale-force winds to the South Island. Skiers would be happy, the announcer noted glumly.

The Offsider landed to find a solid groundswell picking up over the incoming tide in frigid conditions. But the sheer bite of the cold blast took him by surprise and made the decision not to paddle out, with darkness under an hour away, an easy one to make. Instead, he opted to try and capture the beauty of a winter swell in full cry on the Ahipara points even though the sun quickly fell behind the hill, robbing him of that lovely green afternoon light that scintillates through the back of the waves at this time of year.

Surfers, shiny and black in their wetsuits like seals, marched past, their faces drained of blood, unnaturally pale and strained in the chill. As one, they trudged out to a jump-off rock, waiting for a lull before falling like lemmings into the cold sea to be dragged swiftly away on the strong current.

The Offsider huddled in the shelter of the cliffs while a squall carrying what looked like sleet was blown through on a spiteful southerly that cut through his thin jacket before brushing plumes of spray off the lips of the waves back out to sea. Several surfers paused and asked him why he wasn't out there - like they wanted him to share their pain. Truth was, he wasn't convinced it was as good as some were claiming. He saw plenty of perfect waves going unridden but this was a deceptive-looking swell; many walls would rear up then abruptly fade or flatten out as the tide raced in, creating dead zones in the line-up.

The Offsider amused himself while he watched by thinking how the first cold snap of the year never failed to take everyone by surprise. The next day, he dressed his 5-year-old daughter for school by bundling her into a T-shirt under a long-sleeved shirt then a thick sweater beneath a ski jacket, tucked her tracksuit pants into her ugg boots and pulled a beanie down over her head and tied it on. It would have been the most clothing she had ever worn in her life. Cheleyna's first words as she walked outside and felt the morning air slap her face were, "Dad, the cold's hurting my eyes!" The big chill was even extending its cold claw into the local supermarket, where tomatoes quickly began to approach the $9-a-kilo mark.

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Meanwhile, those same big clean lines at Ahipara heaved inexorably northwards towards Fiji, allowing the ASP ladies' tour to score fine conditions at both the Cloudbreak and Restaurants reefs over ensuing days; two breaks with ample potential to deliver some of the best left-handers in the world. The swell backed off nearly as quickly as it had arrived. The men's event, the Fiji Pro, was supposed to have started on Sunday but had already endured two lay days and now held no real prospects of receiving any decent groundswell this coming week at least.

One fellow WCT commentator noted bluntly, "Looks far from bula for Fiji," and noted the ASP website may have omitted its forecast section to "downplay the dismal situation".

Never mind. Wasn't enough to prevent The Offsider from imagining the new winter would be full of pumping, icy line-ups and empty midweek dawn patrols at his local break.

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The Offsider is Age sportsbuster Francis Malley. Respond atsports@northlandage.co.nz

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