Offering comfort born of pain

HOPE: 'Aroha from Hope' recipient Kirsty Hamlin and baby Lennox (left), with Tarchia Joll and two-year-old daughter Grace.

Tarchia Joll can relate to many of the fears and anxieties felt by parents of special care baby unit (SCBU) parents at Whangarei Hospital.

And now, almost three years after losing one of her twin daughters at 24 weeks' gestation, she is showing her empathy with other grieving parents via her Aroha From Hope journals, which include milestones such as back to birth weight, weight at one week, breathing unassisted and on full feeds, and a certificate of graduation from the SCBU.

Kirsty Hamlin, mother of premature-born seven-week-old Lennox, was reduced to tears when she received one of the journals at Whangarei Hospital.

Lennox was born in May, at 30 weeks and three days, with a number of complications. He has been making progress, however, and, after a roller coaster ride of emotions over the last seven weeks, Kirsty is looking forward to taking him home soon.

"It's such a long journey," she said to Tarchia.

"I really appreciate what you've made. It's gorgeous."

Tarchia knew exactly how she was feeling. In 2011, with two teenage children already, she found herself pregnant with identical twin girls.

"I was over the moon, and very afraid at the same time," she said.

"Babies were far from my mind. I had two amazing kids who were 14 and 16 when my girls came into this world."

It was a very difficult pregnancy though. The girls were sharing a placenta, and had twin to twin transfusion (TTTS).

"There were so many ups and downs, with doctors wanting to terminate one of the babies, missing organs, then organs being present after all, the possibility of brain damage if one baby died, going to fetal medicine every two weeks and laser surgery on their placenta at 20 weeks," she said.

At 24-weeks' gestation the family lost their fight for Hope.

"She stayed where she was, snug and warm with us, until our Grace was 34 weeks," she added.

But Grace nearly didn't make it as well. She was delivered by emergency Caesarean and had a number of problems, including meconium peritonitis, a twisted cord, and was undersized from a lack of blood.

"At 1555gm (three pounds seven ounces) and 41cm long, she was a little poppet," Tarchia said.

"We spent a total of 99 days in the neonatal intensive care unit and Starship before coming home at a whopping 2760gm (six pounds two ounces). She has had two operations and will always have issues with her tummy, but she is a tenacious wee girl with a love of jumping and showing off."

Tarchia recalled many emotions throughout her journey, and feeling that no one understood the loneliness and fear she was going through. That led her to create the 'Aroha From Hope' journals, not only to remember her baby and the journey her girls went on, but to support other grieving parents in knowing they are not alone.

"There's lots of love behind it. It's something that's very close to my heart," she said.

Tarchia would appreciate scrap booking donations: 3-4 ply baby wool, booties and beanies for new-born and premature babies, 100 per cent cotton material and flannel, 1B8/A4 books, children's stickers of all sorts, glue sticks, 30x30 scrapbooking paper (pattern and plain) suitable for babies, scrapbooking embellishments and small chocolate bars.

Go to the Aroha From Hope Facebook page for more.