A recent survey sheds light on the profound impact grief on Kiwis, as one in two New Zealanders have lost a family member in the last two years.
A recent survey sheds light on the profound impact grief on Kiwis, as one in two New Zealanders have lost a family member in the last two years.
While the festive season is a time of joy and togetherness for many, it can also be a reminder of loss for families grieving loved ones.
New research from the Grief Centre and the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand sheds light on the profound impact grief has on New Zealanders as one in two New Zealanders have lost a family member in the last two years and almost one in three have lost a friend.
According to the research, grief after loss from a death or other loss event impacts the ability of over 50% of New Zealanders to function in their personal and professional lives because of its effect on mental wellbeing.
The research also stated that overall women had more intense grief than men across loss events and Māori have the highest average intense grief among different ethnic groups.
While the data in the research was fairly consistent across the country, president of the Funeral Directors Association, Andrew Malcolm, said Northland was unique because of its large Māori population.
“There is a large percentage of Māori families in Northland, and they tend to go back to tangihanga and they say that it has a positive impact on the grief journey.
“All cultures have good death practices, but now with the new modern culture we have lost some of that. There is more of a focus on self. People often say how they want their funeral done, but it’s not about you, it’s about those that have been left behind.”
President of the Funeral Directors Association, Andrew Malcolm, said attending funerals was important for the mental wellbeing of those grieving.
Malcom said attending funerals was important for the mental wellbeing of those grieving.
“It’s important for people to pause and be in the moment; to see, hear and touch, to hear those stories about the person. If you pretend it didn’t happen you can remain stuck. You are supposed to get closure and support.
“Whether it’s a traditional and large event, or something smaller and more personalised, we see examples every day of the huge value a meaningful farewell ceremony brings to the people left behind,” says Malcolm.
“It’s also why at this time of the year many people take comfort from remembrance services run by funeral homes in their community. It can be a great support to gather with others who are also mourning.”
General manager of the Grief Centre, Katrina King, said the research is a stark reminder that grief needs to be recognised and those grieving need support.
“Grief is big for people and particularly at this time of the year, when the death of a loved one is highlighted through their absence in family traditions. Our research showed that 20% of people had accessed professional support for their grief but most of us rely on family and friends for support and the reality is that they might not be equipped to provide the best support.”
General manager of the Grief Centre, Katrina King, said the research is a stark reminder that grief needs to be recognised and those grieving need support.
Attending a funeral is also revealed as a grief support tool with nearly 80% of New Zealanders believing that attending a funeral or tangihanga makes a positive impact on their grief journey.
Acknowledging that this is a difficult time of year for grief, Grief Centre is currently raising awareness about how we can remember and celebrate loved ones with their A Moment to Remember campaign.
King said, “This is about people taking a moment – either by themselves, with friends and family, or even colleagues – to remember and celebrate a loved one by doing something that reminds you of them.
“We’re also hoping people will support us with a donation this week, perhaps in lieu of a Christmas gift or as an acknowledgment of a loved one. While our research told us over 50% of people thought support for grief counselling should be Government funded, the reality is it’s not. We need to find new ways to support people to continue to function through the intense grief we are all going to feel at some stage in our lives,” she said.
For more information about the campaign, visit griefcentre.org.nz.
