Wyn Drabble: Travellers beware

Wyn Drabble

Travellers, beware. Things don't always go to plan especially in countries where they have, shall we say, a less diligent approach to doing official business.

Youngest son phoned from Cancun International Airport, Mexico, where he and a friend were intending to board their booked flight to Cuba. They were in plenty of time, checking in three hours before departure.

It wasn't easy to keep up with the conversation because the phone line kept breaking up but the following is a rough transcript of what happened.

Son: Hola.
Mexican: Hola.
Son: We'd like to check in please.
Mexican: Immigration forms please.
Son: We haven't got any.
Mexican: They would have given them to you when you flew in to the country.
Son: We didn't fly in, we walked in. And nobody gave us immigration forms.
Young boy (interrupting): You want cheap sombrero?

The man directed them to a desk where they could stand in a long queue then uplift and fill in the appropriate paperwork. They returned to check-in with the required forms.
Mexican: Too late. Check-in closes two hours before the departure time.

Son: But we checked in three hours before and we've been off filling in forms as directed.
Mexican: Sorry.
Young boy: Sombrero?

Off to another official to complain about and rectify the situation. One part of this involved spending a long time in a long queue only to have the counter close when they were next in line.

Nothing could be done about their misfortune but, at an added cost of $250, they were transferred to another flight the next day. Add to the financial burden the inconvenience of having to overnight in the airport terminal building.

Young boy: Two sombreros, price of one?
They are now in Havana but a little worse for wear. You just can't predict these sorts of events.

They certainly had a valid grievance which could probably be traced back to border control. They surely have more right to feel aggrieved than the following travellers whose (real) complaints were gathered from a flight website and a cruise website and published by Telegraph Travel.

One complainant returned from Germany and wrote: "The street signs weren't in English. I don't know how anyone got around."

Another returned from Spain to complain: "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time. This should be banned."
A number of people, it seems, do not understand that one of the joys of travel is experiencing other cultures. I vividly remember my shock on first visiting Spain in the seventies and, outside delightful little tile-roofed, whitewashed cafes, seeing blackboard signs: "We serve baked beans on toast."

The Brits clearly have a lot to answer for. I suppose this sort of explains the following complaint too: "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the store doesn't sell proper biscuits like custard creams or gingernuts."

Or, "On my holiday to Goa in India I was disgusted to find every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

Beaches were the target of many complaints including, "The beach was too sandy."
Prepare yourself for this one: "No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

But I think the winner has to be this one from a disgruntled Brit: "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home."
Perhaps it would have been quicker for them just to fly to Cuba. As long as they filled out the correct forms.

Cuban boy: You want cheap cigars?