Roger Moroney.
As I write this there is rain falling which is good for the gardens and excellent for the burgeoning bottled water marriage between the much lauded aquifers of Hawke's Bay and the great land of China.
The rain was not relentless ... more a steady light fall, but I still reckon another 15,000 litres may have come down.
So let's say they can flog off a litre of Hawke's Bay's finest for $5.99 in downtown Shanghai ... that's $89,850.
Not bad for an early summer shower.
But hey, we got the lawns watered and what we caught in the buckets outside will get the car washed, so no breach of any proposed restrictions ... as if a lot of people would take any notice of them anyway at this stage of the summer.
It would have to be the third week of 30C temperatures and tumbleweeds rolling along the beachfront before the average ratepayer would consider putting a brick in the cistern to halve the flushwater supply.
And as a great many have noted ... we're pumping it out and selling it.
The whole equation comes down to one thing.
And that is the second most important thing on this planet is water.
Without it, we're goners.
On the nutrition front alone you can go without food for about 20 days, although it would be a struggle of course, but on the water front the average human can only last around three to four days without water.
Because basically we are made of the stuff so if we don't refuel with it we will break down.
Remarkable stuff water because it comes from the sky.
Even all the salty stuff out in the oceans originally came from up there.
So that means we don't have to farm it or feed it.
Which means, effectively, it is free.
Unless you bottle it and sell it.
I always figured the "free" factor was also the case for fish.
Unlike sheep, cattle, chickens and pigs you don't have to feed them, house them, dip them, dose them or buy them to create more of them.
They are already simply there.
They do the lot and they are all set to be prepared for the table the minute we fish them out.
Yet have you checked out the price of gurnard and terakihi lately?
As for snapper ... forget it.
On the fish front I think the late Selwyn Toogood had it pretty spot on ... buy hoki.
So yes, water is the second most valuable commodity on this planet in terms of what is required to continue to stay alive on it.
The number one most valuable commodity, well in my mind anyway, is the air.
The stuff we can't see and can't smell.
The only time we can see it and can smell it is when we put something smoky into it.
We're funny old things we humans.
We get clean water and clear air and yet we end up putting things into them both.
So of course when that happens the "market" for fresh, clean water emerges and bingo ... we're drawing the two or three-decade old crystal clear stuff from the underground supplier (A. Quifer and Co) and sending it off to countries where tapped fresh and clean water is a rarity.
What is also a rarity in some of those countries is fresh clean air.
Many major cities have equally major smog issues and you've seen the images of residents there walking or cycling while wearing face masks.
We are fortunate here because we have very fresh air, and being on the coast it just feels even fresher.
In fact the whole country is pretty good on the fresh air front, and it appears what our "clean green" image has done for the humble but essential element of water is now spreading to ... air.
For we are now selling the stuff, with a 7.7 litre bottle of "fresh New Zealand air" now selling in China for $44.
I'm not kidding.
In some parts of that land, especially in winter when the grittiest smog descends, it goes for about $140 a bottle.
They are sold with breathing masks and each bottle provides about 180 intake breaths of clean, fresh air.
How it's bottled is anyone's guess but I daresay the overheads can't be that excessive, given the main ingredient costs nothing.
Yet we're flogging off bottles of it to China at a price that's a tenner more than a crate of a dozen 750ml ales which is about the same volume as the air bottle.
All I can really say after reading of this latest commercial venture is "why didn't I think of that?"