The pressure of buying gifts and playing host to family members are two things that cause stress at Christmas, a psychologist says. Photo / Getty Images
The pressure of buying gifts and playing host to family members are two things that cause stress at Christmas, a psychologist says. Photo / Getty Images
If you’re feeling tense while elbowing your way through the crowds at Okara Park shopping centre this Christmas, you’re not alone.
Clinical psychologist and Massey University lecturer Dr Kirsty Ross said there are a lot of additional stresses at this time of year, particularly around finances and the pressure ofbuying presents.
“There’s obviously a lot of marketing at this time of year. I think people feel a lot of pressure around that.”
There is also the pressure to host whānau and the extra financial cost of providing food for them.
Busy shopping malls and crowds leading up to Christmas could also create tension and stress, Ross said.
“There’s not that many people who really enjoy going into a shopping mall full of people at this time of year and really enjoy the crowds.”
In New Zealand, Ross said, there is additional stress because children are off school and summer holidays are coming up.
“There’s often a period of time of needing to complete a whole lot of things because we’re about to go away on holiday. There’s that kind of end-of-the-year pressure that isn’t there in other countries.”
Ross said people need to think about what is important to them at Christmas, rather than feeling pressure around presents and holidays.
“Many people feel it’s really important to come together on Christmas Day and spend time together as a family.
“If that’s at somebody’s house they can feel as if they have to host everybody, then they can feel there’s this huge pressure of supplying huge amounts of food, and really fancy food.
Massey University senior clinical psychologist and senior lecturer, Dr Kirsty Ross. Photo / NZME
“If the goal is to just sit down and share a meal together and have a connection over food, you can pare that right back to a pot luck, where everyone brings something.”
People can feel resentful if they are in the kitchen all day, missing out on spending time with others, Ross said.
Anyone who already had issues with depression might lack the motivation to spend time with others at Christmas, she added.
“At this time of year it can feel tricky to be joyful - that may not necessarily be how someone is feeling at the time.”
It was still important to include them, however, as spending time with others could help lift mood.
“Just to say, we’d really love to see you, just come for a little bit,” Ross suggested.
Anxiety could also be an issue as it was fed by stress, she said.
“If you’re someone who experiences anxiety generally, being under a lot of stress at this time of year can really ramp that up.”
People should keep things simple, not think about things that could go wrong, and stay in the present, Ross said.
There are online resources people can use if they are in distress, and helplines are always available if needed, she said.
Ian McKenzie, general manager mental health and addiction services at Te Whatu Ora Te Tai Tokerau, said services would continue to be available over the summer.
“It’s normal to not feel all right all the time - it’s understandable to feel sad, distressed, worried, confused, anxious or angry - even during the festive season,” McKenzie said.
“Everyone reacts differently, and some may find this time of year more challenging than others.
“For some of us, the pressure is on to create a magical day for our tamariki and whānau. For others, the holiday season can increase loneliness and hardship, with limited access to kai, transport, and other services.
“Remember, there are free resources and services available - anytime.”
McKenzie urged people not to hesitate to seek help at any time of the day or night, and check on family, friends and neighbours.
Te Whatu Ora’s crisis service will continue to operate over the holiday period, he said, and GPs will be open on the days in between statutory holidays.
Crisis service contact details:
Whangārei: ph (09) 430 4101 ext 3537
Kaipara District: ph (09) 439 3330 ext 6701
Far North District: ph (09) 408 0010 ext 4720/4749
Mid North District: ph 0800 643 647
All are open Monday to Friday, 8am to 4.30pm. Weekends and after-hours: Ph 0800 223 371
