Nickie Muir: Lack of road awareness driving me to distraction

When is the election and who has a decent rail/road policy? Photo/Thinkstock

The day God dished out my skill set I think he might have been taking the proverbial.

Distinctly lacking in some of the basic skills, I'll never be a mover and shaker in the corporate world we live in. The ability to shut up, when to keep going is unlikely to get you a job promotion regardless of the veracity of what's said. The radar for picking wealthy men and the tenacity to shove them somewhere financially beneficial. Skill sets gone AWOL.

The facility for mimicking funny accents hardly seems a just compensation and there has yet to be an immigration website listing this skill as highly valued in aspiring new residents. When such a country declares itself I will emigrate.

The skill vacuum in the area of driving is one that is particularly annoying. I'm missing the driving gene.

As a kid, I went to speedway, watched two warm-up circuits, clapped and asked to go home. Being a dedicated day-dreamer is not one of the skills that lends itself to driving either. In a particularly delicious reverie a few months back, I drove past the exit that would get me out of the stupid toll tunnel that separates Northland from the civilised world where one can drive on the roads free of charge.

I decided to stop at the kiosk and pay the $2 and then remembered the last time I'd tried that none of the machines were working. It was dusk, I drove on and forgot all about it. Last week, I received a fine of $40 for my misdemeanour. I tried. For an hour. I rang the help line. They helped for another hour and then informed me that I couldn't pay online using an Apple Mac. I would have to pay by credit card - which I don't own. There was no other way. I rang the whanau who run a guest lodge. Every week they pay the toll bills of the tourists who have been silly enough to come North and have no idea why, by falling down one rabbit hole tunnel one enters a place where you have to pay $2 for the privilege.

We have a talent for projects that we cannot afford and then have to pay for in a hodge-podge of $2 gold coins which everyone then laughs at. It is as if the North has been annexed by National Party policy planners for the past 25 years and we're all invited to the tea party. The fine got paid and I rang the helpline to confirm. "The $40 is only the fine and does not cover the original amount of $2.10 plus a $6 admin fee." "Do you not think that it would be a good idea to put that amount into the one payment so that people do not have to make two?" I asked. "No. The $40 goes to a private debt-collecting agency and the other payment comes to us." So the $40 does not even go to anything that will benefit roads, just a private company."

"That's right."

When is the election and who has a decent rail/road policy?