Nickie Muir: How to play cool at water coolers

Nickie Muir

The sis culture. Never heard of it? Probably because it doesn't really exist. We in the sisterhood do little to bolster each other's careers and create a kinship that elicits a sense of safety and inclusion that allows our sisters to take risks, develop leadership and get ahead in life.

The bro culture - we're so swamped with it that we cease to notice. Like living in military dictatorships, it is the norm even when it's not really working for us; the other 50 per cent.

The bro culture in Northland board rooms, councils, staff-rooms and clubs is so palpably thick in places that it would take female ninja turtles hours of energetic sword waving and a crop dusting of aerosol oestrogen to even get some visibility around where to start addressing the issue.

You know what I'm talking about. The old guy who wants "to talk with your dad" when you're discussing a land deal. True story and er ... I didn't want to talk to his mum. (Just saying.) The job interview where you're asked if you plan on having children.

The shoulder tap for a position for a young male with no experience or qualifications. The pay rates that you find when you've left a job that seemed to have correlated to gender but not competence.

During the World Cup, there could be increased levels of bro-culture heading our way.

Here then are some simple sis-culture tips for dealing with our beloved but somewhat deluded bros before the tsunami of testosterone hits us.

In staff rooms where the senior management addresses the entire staff with the greeting, "Morning guys", even when most of the employees have ovaries, you should arrive late to the next meeting (preferably after manager is seated.) As you enter, address the room with a cheery, "Morning ladies".

Be specific when you say this and make eye contact with at least three men while saying the "ladies" bit. Do not giggle. Do that "I'm an important man doing really busy important man stuff" thing that men do when they arrive late to meetings. Try not to get fired. Remember you're only a girl.

When serious outbreaks of bro culture occur - it is important to regroup. In corridors and around water coolers take the time to raise eyebrows at each other, lift the chin and say, "Hey sis". Make sure you have spent the weekend watching sport and avoiding all house-hold duties so that you may bond with your fellow sisters over sporting knowledge the next week. I suggest dressage or synchronised swimming. One workmate recently showed me how human dressage helps build better teams.

Groups of women doing human dressage around the water cooler will create unity and also scare the bejesus out of the bros. The bros are unlikely to drink again from the water cooler (has it been spiked?) - thereby creating a safe female space. Bonus. It is extremely important the sisters not break down into uncontrollable giggling during human dressage performances. Be sure to high five each other before returning to work.