Kevin Page: With all my love and a toaster

Kevin Page contemplates paying for the dress for his daughter's wedding.

Having become a grandfather for the first time just six months ago I am about to add a new title to my name: Father Of The Bride.

I should point out for the traditionalists among us - possibly choking on their cornflakes at the thought of the baby coming before the wedding - the baby is that of our youngest son and the wedding will be that of our eldest daughter.

And the upcoming nuptials have thrown up some interesting questions about weddings and traditions.

Like who pays?

I vividly recall my father-in-law dipping into his pocket for my West Coast wedding many, many years ago. I think I must have been brainwashed by the arrival of a bright shiny mini tanker full of beer outside the reception because I didn't even think about the cost involved in our very traditional big day.

But it seems times have changed.

Traditions come and go and we Fathers of the Bride-to-be have to move with them.

Not only did my daughter's husband-to-be not come and ask my permission (which would have been a bit silly I suppose because they have been living together in their own house for six years) it seems they fully expect to pay for their own small wedding.

Now, obviously I do not completely live in the past and I have been to weddings in recent years where the cost has been shared but I find myself in unfamiliar territory with the wedding only months away.

I mean, as mentioned, back in the day I would have just paid for it. Plain and simple. No confusion. But what is my expected involvement these days? I'm OK with not footing the entire bill but how much is enough?

Luckily some of my mates at the golf club have been through this predicament and advice has been offered and taken on board.

Accordingly, a financial contribution will be made for something special, maybe I'll help her buy the dress she's always wanted. It goes without saying The Bank of Dad, with its credit rating backed by age and experience, will always be hovering in the background just in case.

But what about gifts? Back in the day you could be assured of getting at least one toaster among the myriad small appliances and glasses that you'd never use. These days lots of couples say they don't want anything.

It is likely, like my daughter, they will be reasonably well set up having been flatting for a while. Chances are they will be saving for a deposit on a house so instead there will be a "wishing well" where guests can flick in a few bob to help with wedding costs or a honeymoon if they are having one.

I guess that's the way it is these days. Traditions come and go and we Fathers of the Bride-to-be have to move with them.

Oh well, at least I know what I have to pay for. If a contribution to her wedding dress and offering some financial back-up is what makes her happy on her big day then I'm happy to pay the price.

But I think I might just get them a toaster as well.