Kevin Page: It's not a shoe-in to find space

Kevin Page.

What is it with women and shoes?

I've done a quick survey. Myself and most of my mates have an average of four pairs.

Jandals/sandals to match the obligatory summer shorts.

Then there's a pair of shoes for general knocking about in. A pair for going out in and a pair for football, touch or golf.

It's an easy to find, manageable amount designed to allow more space at the bottom of the closet for much more important "manstuff" like auto magazines, box of golf balls, duty free bottle of Jim Beam from that trip to Oz etc etc.

But it seems the women in my life each have significantly more pairs to get them through the daily trials and tribulations of life.

I remarked as much recently to Mrs P as we were shifting house. We now live in what some may term a modest abode. Which basically means it's tiny. We can only swing half a cat.

I call it a shoebox. Which is appropriate as it seems to be full of shoes. Women's shoes.

I started counting the other day and before the calculator ran out of batteries I'd got to somewhere around 30.

Obviously it is my duty as a man to "promote discussion" on the subject, which basically means have a moan.

So I suggested maybe more room could be had for other more important things if the shoe total was reduced but Mrs P was having none of it.

It turns out she had already got rid of a lot of her pairs in preparation for the move.

She is particularly concerned that she now has no appropriate footwear for the wedding we are going to next month. An expedition to the shoe shop is required.

I didn't bother arguing as I looked at the mountain of existing shoes before me. I knew from experience there couldn't possibly be anything that would "work" with her wedding outfit. Groan.

Actually I don't really know why I'm surprised. Shoe collecting is a family trait.

Number one Daughter living in Christchurch is the proud owner of upwards of 100 pairs of shoes. And the Boomerang Child left us boxes and boxes of shoes for safe keeping while she traipsed around the world on her OE.

It's in storage so thankfully we haven't got all that footwear hogging the floorspace in our new house.

Or at least we didn't have.

This week it was Mrs P's birthday and the Boomerang Child and her partner arrived home unexpectedly to surprise her after 10 months away.

Obviously while they get themselves sorted they are staying with us. So now we've got four people and their assorted paraphernalia choking up the already limited room.

There's a queue for the bathroom each morning and the leftovers I, er, "left over" in the fridge from the night before have been gulped down before I've had the chance to have it for lunch.

There are backpacks, piles of clothes, camping gear, laundry and shoes scattered everywhere.

Don't get me wrong. It is great having the kids home. They've been away a while so it's nice to see them. But if I'm honest, I need a walk every now and then to get some space and clear my head.

There's just one problem. I can't find my shoes.