Not only is she Briscoe's favourite customer but she's passionate about my health and having me around for a while.
So now I lean more towards a healthy eating regime.
I won't bore you with exactly what happened but it would be fair to say she stepped in with a few important dietary recommendations and I turned into Brad Pitt (honest) before it was too late.
In fact, the timing couldn't have been better.
I'd just completed a 48-year study into the effects of food on the ageing process and was feeling it big time when Mrs P went to work.
I should point out I didn't get any government funding for my study though I did use $4.50 from my tax refund to buy a late-night cheeseburger.
In my defence we had just won the Rugby World Cup in 2011 and I was also investigating the effects vast amounts of alcohol would have on my belly at the time.
But I digress.
A bit of sensible eating, some exercise and the support of a good woman set me on the road to attractiveness. It has been worth it but most definitely was not all plain sailing.
Take, for instance, the time I popped into my local service station with Mrs P in tow.
The friendly attendant struck up a conversation with my good lady which led to one of those moments when I just wished the woman had been as silent and unhelpful as many of her counterparts in Auckland.
During the conversation she blurted out to Mrs P that I was a regular customer and always popping in for chicken wings, a particular vice of mine at the time.
It seemed inappropriate to be indignant or go on about client confidentiality (at the petrol station) so I just headed for the naughty corner as Mrs P explained to her new friend that I was now on a healthy eating regime and it was the last time I'd be keeping the chicken wing suppliers in coin.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I find myself driving home in a daze. Inexplicably the car drifts into the service station and before I know it I'm standing at the head of the queue, in front of the counter, with a nice warm dish of chicken wings safely in my grasp.
Then, to my utter embarrassment, the same attendant that let the cat out of the bag to Mrs P weeks earlier, sidles up.
"Are you supposed to be having those?" she says disapprovingly as an amused line of shoppers stare on.
"Er, no," I stammer.
"Well you'd best put them back then hadn't you?" she suggests, while folding her arms and watching me in case I grab a chocolate bar instead.
Obviously I don't. I'm too scared.
I hightail it for home where healthy living awaits. I am proud to say I've kicked my chicken wing habit.
These days you are more likely to find me eating and drinking healthily and planning to be round for a congratulatory telegram from the reigning monarch when I reach 100.
When I'm interviewed in the local paper I'll say the key to looking attractive and healthy living is a vodka a day.
Oops! I mean avocado.
