Last Friday I had THAT day.
As you read on I'm sure you will be able to relate. It was literally one thing after another and the day going from bad to worse from the outset.
For starters, I knew it would be a difficult day as I had a pile of work stacked up including some out-of-town travel.
So what better way to start the day than with my favourite beverage, a large extra hot moccachino from my nearest BP Wild Bean.
And because it was the end of the week I decided to treat myself a little further and go all posh with coconut milk rather than my traditional mix.
Never let it be said I don't roll with the times.
My coffee purchased I headed for the office and five minutes later I was standing at the office door with my coffee and bag in one hand and keys in the other.
I should explain here my "bag" is actually a backpack which the kids bought me for a recent birthday and which features 473 different pockets.
The way these things go it seems I have to explore every one of them before I find the item I'm searching for. Sound familiar? Anyway.
Because I'm early the office door isn't unlocked so I have to undertake that particular task myself.
And because I'm a bloke obviously I can do it without putting my bag or my coffee down.
Long story short, as I fumbled with the keys in the lock I managed to tip the entire contents of my coffee cup into my bag.
Needless to say, the sweet, sticky fluid found its way into every one of the 473 pockets.
I did my best to dry it out but the whole process put me even further behind, something I definitely didn't need on that particular day.
I battled on through the morning determined that my newly chocolate-stained large notebook [yes I am old fashioned] would not prevent me from doing my job to the best of my ability but by mid-afternoon, I was heartily fed-up with pages sticking together and carefully written down phone numbers deteriorating on the paper.
I needed to ease the frustration.
Seeing as I hadn't managed to partake of my usual early morning caffeine infusion, I decided to have another go and headed for the nearest café on my route.
I also needed a wee.
The necessary sign-in procedures completed, I found the in-house loo and wedged myself into the cubicle.
I say "wedged" because the space was so tiny and narrow you were definitely left with the impression it had been forgotten in the original plans for the building and was merely added as an afterthought, probably in place of the broom cupboard they were planning to put there.
The other thing about my day was the weather.
When I had headed out in the morning it was chilly and I'd topped off my company ensemble with a rather fetching bright orange hi-vis polar fleece.
In the confines of this particular toilet I was suddenly feeling very warm and stuffy indeed so decided to remove it.
Firstly I put my phone and wallet on top of the toilet roll dispenser and then preceded to remove the bothersome garment.
As I did so I managed to knock both items from their perch.
Luckily the phone landed on the comparatively soft upper of my boots and then tumbled the remaining 2 inches to the concrete floor. My wallet was not so lucky.
With a backward 2 1/2 somersault followed by a forward roll which would have impressed any Olympic diving judge, my wallet went straight into the toilet.
My "mission" in said location had not actually begun at that stage but a quick inspection of the toilet bowl revealed a previous visitor had not flushed after completing his... if you know what I mean.
So now I have something of a predicament.
I can't very well leave my wallet there because a) It could clog up the pipes and b) all my eftpos and credit card and forms of identification are still in it.
A slight explanatory aside here.
For a long time I've not carried an eftpos card going instead for cash and the time-honoured tradition of having a chat with a bank teller while I get it.
My new job has meant it's not that easy to get into the bank and we have a company eftpos card anyway.
So today I've only got the plastic. No cash.
But I digress.
I might just skip what happened next and move on a few minutes to the point we are I am standing in front of a washbasin furiously scrubbing my arm to try and ensure any greeblies are well and truly gone.
My sodden wallet has found a new home at the bottom of the nearest waste bin and my cards and other important items are being held at the corner between the very ends of my thumb and forefinger as I try to dry them.
As I stood there in front of the hand dryer waiting for it to do its stuff I could not help but let out a philosophical giggle. I mean it really was a ridiculous situation.
Oh well, I thought, a nice coffee always puts things in perspective.
Wonder if they accept damp and smelly company eftpos cards.