Kevin Page: Granddad's guiding words

Kevin Page.

Dear Amelie,

I know you are only 10 weeks old and won't be able to read this yet but your father, my youngest child, has insisted we start a family tradition.

He has asked me to write a letter to you. The plan is for me to read it to you at your 21st birthday to see how some of the things mentioned turned out.

So, basically Amelie I am your granddad. I'm new to the job and I'm a bit nervous.

Unfortunately my dad went off to heaven before yours was born so I've got no book of instructions. I'm having to work a few things out for myself.

Luckily your Nana Page is similarly smitten with her first grandchild and she's guiding me.

Her mum was a Plunket nurse and she's a nurse too so I've got the best trainer.

To be honest though I've only met you briefly I'm not finding this granddad job very hard.

Apparently all I have to do (besides support your head) is be cuddly, loving, caring, fun, cool, wise and a whole load of other things which apparently will come naturally over time. Hopefully you and I can review my progress over a Happy Meal at McDonald's one Saturday morning when I visit.

For now, your job is to be cute, beautiful, smiley and a maker of little gurgly sounds.

You are doing very well. Even when the gurgly sounds come from the wrong end nobody seems to mind. Make the most of that leniency. It doesn't last.

In the not too distant future you will be crawling and then trying to walk. I promise to lay on the floor for you to clamber over and be right next to you to rest on if your legs get a bit wobbly.

Hopefully you'll repay the favour when my arthritis gives me trouble and I need a helping hand in later years.

Anyway.

Moving forward Amelie, one day you will be going to school. I will require numerous pieces of your artwork to stick on my fridge.

When you start writing it won't matter to me if you get the 'd' the wrong way round in the word 'granddad'.

I'll still take it up to the golf club to show all my mates how clever you are.

Naturally I will be attending things like school plays, dance recitals, Saturday morning sport. I fully expect you to stop in the middle of everything and excitedly wave to me.

I will be waving back. I am sure we will both be having a lot of fun. And if you hear anyone call me a "silly old sod" don't fret. I'm a granddad. I'm allowed to be.

One day Amelie it won't be cool to have as much contact with your granddad.

You will probably not want to visit as much and will want to do other stuff with your friends instead. That's OK. I was a teenager once. I understand. I know you'll be back when you're ready. I'll be waiting.

So then when you've got through all that you'll be getting a job. We've all had a bit of a chat about this.

I have to be honest and say there was some alcohol involved in the discussion (new babies make people celebrate) but we all agreed you could be whatever you want when you grow up.

Most of your family would be happy if you become a professional football or tennis player.

I'll be cheering you on whatever it is you do, though I reckon having a professional golfer in the family would be pretty cool. Perhaps you could help with my putting.

Who knows? Maybe you'll find a liking for the written word and become a journalist like me. After all, we do have a family tradition to uphold now.

All my love

Granddad.

- Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines. Feel free to share stories to kevin.page@nzme.co.nz.