Such a summer as never was; endlessly hot and sunny but with just enough rain to keep the tanks brimful and the grass lush green, not to mention the lawns which had romped out of control while it was too wiltingly hot to mow.
Stern measures meant starting by weed-eating the fiercest patch.
Well into laying waste to a satisfying swathe, the weed-eater hacked into the secret subterranean lair of angry wasps.
Uncustomary sprinting, stripping, multiple stings, a hand swollen up like an inflated rubber glove and half a puffed up face later, lawn-taming fell off the priority list until the nest could be dispatched with an improvised hazard suit at dusk and a can of petrol.
Maybe to the wasps, happily minding their own business in their own little paradise, the weed-eater attack felt like an aerial invasion by the police annual cannabis recovery operation, so they fired back.
You and I, dear reader, since we are not wasps and do not live in the kind of B-grade action-movie fantasyland where going down in a blaze of martyrdom is a realistic option, would not react the same way. Because we know resistance is futile and only causes more trouble, we would quake in our boots, go meekly, take our punishment and pursue more rational, democratic ways to change the situation.
When a police cannabis recovery operation reportedly provoked an armed siege near Kawerau last week in which police were injured, a local mayor called for more jobs and a vibrant, caring regional economy as a solution to his area's chronic social problems and high crime rate.
As, arguably, the most dangerous aspect of cannabis is its illegality, legalising its growth, consumption and trade could solve all of these problems in one fell swoop.
For instance, in the US states of Colorado, Washington and California, where cannabis enjoys various forms of legalisation, boosts to taxation revenue, employment and tourism and decreases in crime are reported.
Police budgets would not be wasted destroying people's gardens and lives, and public trust in their real crime-fighting efforts would rise among the otherwise law-abiding citizens who live in fear of our outdated cannabis legislation.
As with any progressive social/legal change, political leadership is necessary.
I can't see the Greens, Labour, NZ First, Peter Dunne or the Maori Party, all desperate not to rock the boat, taking the initiative. However, were the National Party to wish to foster regional growth, taxation revenue, popular votes and tourism, and slash Corrections/Justice budgets, by making this pragmatic legislative change, they could do worse than use their tame wild card, David Seymour of the ACT Party, to pave the way.
After all, he did an excellent similarly unlikely job recently by suggesting Landcorp divest holdings and invest the profits in conservation areas, conveniently just before the Government announced Landcorp would not convert more land to dairy farming because of its commitment to the environment, thereby hastily exiting from potential dairying losses at the same time as covering all parties in cleverly hand-spun environmental glory.