Mother of three Diana Tam died in a car accident south of Whangārei on January 24. She was 44.
Nature-loving mum Diana Tam was travelling to Northland on January 24 to test out some new camping gear with her eldest son and their pet dog. She never made it, dying in a crash on State Highway 1, Oakleigh.
“I don’t want your gifts. I want to spend time with you. Your time is the most valuable thing you can give to anyone.”
That is what solo mum Tam would tell her three children – Grady, 22, Hugo, 20, and Lucy, 18 – when they would ask her what she wanted for her birthday.
Hugo told the Northern Advocate he is only now realising how right his mum was.
“Our time together has run dry,” he said. “I can only regret the days I chose not to see her, the weeks that went by without contact, and our missed opportunities to be together.”
On the day Tam died, she had been making the most of the Auckland Anniversary weekend by heading north to test out some new camping gear she had bought.
“It was cold, rainy, and possibly the worst weather to go,” Hugo said.
“But these opportunities for her to get outside for an extended period and really do what she loved came rarely, so she took this chance.”
The 44-year-old was driving north on State Highway 1 with Grady and Nala when, about 30 minutes south of Whangārei, tragedy struck.
The family’s vehicle was involved in a three-vehicle crash, killing Tam and injuring her son and dog.
A police spokesperson said the crash is being investigated.
Grady and Nala are recovering well after the crash, but the family now face life without their devoted mum.
Hugo said Tam loved nothing more than to see smiles on her children’s faces.
“She always put family first,” he said.
“Our smiles are proof of her love, devotion and dedication to raising us the best she could.”
Tam had her first son when she was 21.
Within a few years, she had three children, was a single mum, did not receive child support and was working to support her family, Hugo said.
“It was troubling to see her work, but struggle to get ahead in life.”
“To be completely honest, we grew up with a lot of financial hardship,” Hugo said.
He and his siblings often skipped lunches and morning teas. Going out to eat was too expensive as were vacations and electronic devices.
But his mother’s resilience pressed on. Hugo said Tam was the hardest-working person he knew. She did her “damned hardest” to make up for what they went without.
“On some days, she would come visit us in school to have lunch with us.”
Together, they would share $5 value pizzas and a soda.
“She always gave us her time, and although we didn’t have enough money to live a lavish lifestyle, we always spent time together – we didn’t need money – we needed each other," Hugo said.
He called his mum a “warm and cheerful” person, who greeted everyone with a smile. She was easy to talk to.
“Her bubbly character and almost child-like nature brought a refreshing sense of relief, calm and joy to everyone’s day,” Hugo said.
“Her voice was loud, prominent, and never missed,” Hugo said.
Tam’s other love, outside of motherhood, was animals.
“From chickens to horses, cats and dogs, cows and hedgehogs, she loved them all and wanted her own farm,” Hugo said.
The photos on her phone were all of nature shots, her dog Nala, and her children.
Hugo said people couldn’t believe it when news of Tam’s death spread.
“I hope we all remember how we felt around her ... I know I was the happiest.”
A Givealittle has been set up to help Tam’s sisters, who absorbed the cost of her funeral.
Brodie Stone covers crime and emergency for the Northern Advocate. She has spent most of her life in Whangārei and is passionate about delving into issues that matter to Northlanders and beyond.