Far North Deputy Mayor Kelly Stratford shares her journey to sobriety

Far North Deputy Mayor Kelly Stratford recently celebrated seven years of being alcohol-free. Photo / Michael Cunningham

Blackouts, bruising, and a sprained ankle from alcohol-fuelled nights were once a normal part of Far North Deputy Mayor Kelly Stratford’s life.

Throughout many of her teenage and adult years, she partook in binge drinking sessions, had bottles of wine stashed in her handbag, and drank homemade gin “like it was water”.

But a health scare in 2017 prompted the 47-year-old of Ngāpuhi, Ngātiwai, Ngāi Te Rangi, Welsh and Irish descent to turn her life around.

Stratford, who recently celebrated her seventh year of sobriety, wants to share her story about the damaging effects of alcohol abuse, particularly as people celebrate the New Year.

“Sometimes I’d go out and I wouldn’t remember part of the night.

“I had injuries; a sprained ankle, and bruises down my side.

“I didn’t know how they happened, mostly likely during a fall.”

Stratford said she drank to cope with stress such as a difficult life event or person, or hosting a kid’s party.

“Every time there was a stressful situation I felt I needed something to get me through.

“It was that hankering for a drink when I got stressed.

“I even carried a bottle around in my bag.

“I drank to excess; when I drank it was hard for me to stop.”

Stratford’s wake-up call came when she visited her doctor for a check-up in 2017.

She was having problems with digestion and tightness in her chest, sparking fears she was having a heart attack.

“I went to the emergency department and had ECG monitoring, which was okay, but the doctor sat me down and said, ‘you’re obese’.”

Kelly Stratford sticks to coffee and iced tea these days, and makes an effort to look after her health. Photo / Jenny Ling

Stratford was nearly 100kg at the time.

She was also going through a particularly stressful time which included moving house and selling the Trainspotter Cafe in Kawakawa which she ran with her husband Daniel.

She was on the Whangaroa-Bay of Islands Community Board and was standing for a spot on council to replace Willow-Jean Prime who had won a seat in Parliament in 2017.

Stratford was elected a first-time councillor in 2018.

After the doctor’s appointment, she was scrolling on social media when Kelly Rennie from Busy Mum Fitness popped up on her Facebook feed.

Stratford embarked on Rennie’s fitness programme with a focus on exercise, nutrition, water, stress management, and the biggie - no alcohol.

“The biggest adjustment was no alcohol, but I didn’t think anything of it because I had stopped drinking in the past, like when I was pregnant.

“One week in I started having severe joint pain and shaking.

“It made me think, holy crap I think my body has got addicted to alcohol. I really felt the need to have a drink; it was so strong, I’d never noticed it before.”

As the withdrawal symptoms subsided, and with more mental clarity, Stratford was compelled to delve deeper into why she drank.

Stratford - who was named the new deputy mayor of the Far North in 2022 by then newly-minted Mayor Moko Tepania - attended counselling sessions, and admitted to friends and whānau she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Hiking is one of the ways Kelly Stratford keeps healthy and manages stress.

Her three children were supportive, though they told it to her straight.

“They would tell me stories about when I was drunk ... that I’d get really loud and aggressive.

“Having clarity helped me have conversations with loved ones who told me I wasn’t a nice person when I drank.

“Buying a couple of bottles of wine a day wasn’t healthy, blacking out on a drinking evening wasn’t normal.

“It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realised that.”

These days Stratford opts for non-alcoholic drinks like soda water and iced tea, and manages stress with gardening, hiking, and gym sessions at OutFit North in Paihia.

She meditates, reads books, and listens to podcasts about living sober.

“I still have fun. I don’t miss the buzz that alcohol gave me, because I find that buzz just being around people.”

Stratford’s message to others this festive season is: “Be safe.

“Think about the negative impact of alcohol. It’s a drug.

“Drink to enjoy but not to medicate or suppress.

“It’s okay to sit in your feelings, you don’t have to suppress them with alcohol.”

Stratford is grateful for that wake-up call seven years ago.

“Everyone has some form of trauma.

“For me stopping drinking, I had to deal with things that had happened in the past that were triggering or things I had not resolved.

“It led me to confront not just the weight, but the deeper stuff ... everything I’d been drowning out.”

Jenny Ling is a senior journalist at the Northern Advocate. She has a special interest in covering human interest stories, along with roading, lifestyle, business, and animal welfare issues.