Northern Advocate
  • Northern Advocate home
  • Latest news
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Sport
  • Property
  • Video
  • Death notices
  • Classifieds

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
  • Sport
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Residential property listings

Locations

  • Far North
  • Kaitaia
  • Kaikohe
  • Bay of Islands
  • Whangārei
  • Kaipara
  • Mangawhai
  • Dargaville

Media

  • Video
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-Editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

Weather

  • Kaitaia
  • Whangārei
  • Dargaville

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • What the Actual
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Northern Advocate

Eva Bradley: Love me Tinder, love me do and here's a pic of my...

By Eva Bradley
Northern Advocate·
22 May, 2014 02:00 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Eva Bradley is an award- winning columnist.

Eva Bradley is an award- winning columnist.

Last night at a friend's birthday dinner, the conversation drifted to dating. Specifically ... the recent dating activities of those among us who were single and searching.

Having been out of that particular loop for several years, I was what one might politely call "behind the times" on the etiquette of courtship. Although if one were to be brutally honest, I would have to say I was flabbergastingly out of date.

For a start I had never heard of online dating application Tinder. Yes, I can hear the gasps of disbelief at this disclosure among readers under 30 or parents of teens. Likewise, I know there will be others out there as naive as me and wondering what Tinder is.

Basically, it is the proverbial meat market staged in cyber space ... a place for people to shamelessly pimp themselves as they once did previously in loud, low-lit bars on the weekend, except without the booze and subsequent useful memory blanks often generated by too much of it.

On Tinder, there is no pretending the next day you didn't do it. It's all laid bare ... quite literally in the case of many of the younger female members.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

As a female and male friend respectively showed me a quick selection of the single people currently within a 10km radius, I was overwhelmed at the casual, quick-fire way candidate profiles were flicked to the left or right depending on where they stood on spectrum based entirely on physical appearances. At first this might suggest I spend my time with an awfully shallow bunch of single friends. In fact, they are quite the opposite and much more interested in developing long-term relationships than seeking out a flame that burns smoking hot then quickly dies (as the application's name implies).

The reality is that courting today is a dry husk of what it once was.

In literally a couple of years, the online world has seen to that, as proved by new research just this month that basically concluded that among young people, 'sexting' is the new and normal way to connect romantically, and the prudes among us who think that's just not on need to get over ourselves.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

When I was being courted as a teen, I have no doubt the intentions of the hormonally-charged young men were exactly the same as they are today.

But instead of just flicking a touch screen left or right upon seeing some explicit pictures of me with my girls out, my suitors had to use their imaginations and play the long game.

One memorable literary lothario may have been secretly seducing me and another girl in my class simultaneously, but at least he was doing it with excerpts from Shakespeare that took an hour or two to source and hand-write and three days to arrive via post.

When I did eventually find out about the other girl, I didn't just send a selfie of my cleavage with the accompanying words "ain't gettin' no more of this b-arch", I penned an artful 15-page riposte to his own love letters (complete with scathing excepts from Oscar Wilde), which undoubtedly advanced both my vocabulary (some of it questionable) and my handwriting skills.

Discover more

Eva Bradley: Awaiting eye of the storm, please don't disturb

24 Apr 02:00 AM

Eva Bradley: Opinions have value - whether you like it or not

08 May 02:00 AM

Eva Bradley: Common sense essential for true human rights

15 May 02:00 AM

Eva Bradley: Match fixing furore forces rethink of pedestal height

28 May 05:00 PM

Love and lust used to be hard won and, as a result, was held in higher regard. Today it can be secured in moments with the swipe of a finger and GPS technology.

We live in a world where being single is both terrifying and disappointing at the same time. It's a world I am grateful not to be inhabiting, and one I am nervous about becoming a parent to teenagers in.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Northern Advocate

Northern Advocate

Sweet success: Northland gelato chain's national expansion

08 May 05:00 PM
Northern Advocate

Social media a 'lethal' tool in young people's hands, principal says

08 May 05:00 PM
Northern Advocate

On The Up: Bocky Boo Gelato's sweet success

One tiny baby’s fight to survive

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Northern Advocate

Sweet success: Northland gelato chain's national expansion

Sweet success: Northland gelato chain's national expansion

08 May 05:00 PM

Bocky Boo Gelato opened in Whangārei in 2019 and quickly became a local favourite.

Social media a 'lethal' tool in young people's hands, principal says

Social media a 'lethal' tool in young people's hands, principal says

08 May 05:00 PM
On The Up: Bocky Boo Gelato's sweet success

On The Up: Bocky Boo Gelato's sweet success

German tourist stabbed by drunk man who couldn't find his car keys

German tourist stabbed by drunk man who couldn't find his car keys

08 May 08:00 AM
Connected workers are safer workers 
sponsored

Connected workers are safer workers 

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • The Northern Advocate e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the Northern Advocate
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The Northern Advocate
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP