Eva Bradley: I saved some secrets till the end

Eva Bradley

Opinion

Among the 670 or so columns I've written during my 13-year tenure on the opinion pages of the country's regional newspapers, a great number have involved navel-gazing as I cast my thoughts inwards to contemplate who I am and who we are collectively as a nation, and even a civilisation.

There has been a lot of sharing, even more over-sharing, and those who have regularly read my lines, and between my lines, will have a pretty good impression of who I really am.

They might even be astute enough to observe the difference between the me that was and the me that now is ... a subtle shift prompted by the wins, losses, highs and the lows all of us go through as life leads us down an uncharted path towards what we hope will be a happy final destination.

After taking you with me on a very public journey through my private life and thoughts, today I write the last of what amounts to more than 400,000 words.

Some of you will be stoked, some will be sad. And it's that polarity which has always made my life as an opinionated opinion writer so interesting.

Since I started putting my life in print for public consumption as a fresh-faced 26-year-old, I've seen a massive transition in the media industry and how we interact with it.

Those who disagreed with me at one time had to pen a well-considered rebuttal worthy of printing in the Letters to the Editor section.

Now with online publication and instant consumer interaction, I don't just get knocked back for what I think, but also for what I look like, what I wear, and even what car I drive.

I've had stalkers, I've had the police involved, I've had unhinged hate-mail but also wonderful letters, calls and even the odd hug from beautiful humans who related to something I'd written and wanted to say "thanks", "I get it" or even "keep your chin up, girl".

To those people, and all who have taken a few moments out of their life now and again to tune into mine, I'd like to say thanks.

And since it's now possible to do so, I'd also like to sign off with a little bit about the me that you don't see: the one behind the often bullishly strong opinions and devil's advocate persona that has no doubt helped my column endure so long.

For a start, believe it or not, I'm actually rather shy.

I cover this up like so many people do with self-assured bluster (perhaps sometimes mistaken for arrogance), believing, as all journalists ought, that saying something with confidence gives you credibility.

Inclined to be a bit of a hermit, I am hopeless at socialising and prefer candid conversations with a small and low-key group of people I trust and care about over the chit-chat of a wider network.

And even though I have always written with strong opinions on matters of which I know a lot and a little, the me I am now is actually much more inclined to keep my mouth shut, believing there is never any right or wrong, and ambivalence is actually a rather admirable skill to practice.

Mostly, the me you don't see is a person who is, after all the tragedies and triumphs you may have read about over the years, someone who is profoundly happy with who I am now; a wife, a mum, a photographer and not, from this moment on, a writer.

Goodbye to you all. It's been a cool ride.

* You can stay connected with Eva's ongoing journey via her Facebook page: Eva Bradley Photography.