Gay businessman Wade Little, of Kerikeri, wonders why all the fuss about gay marriage when the right to enter a civil union gave him all the rights he wanted.
Gay is not a condition, nor is it an illness or an affliction - we are normal, if normal exists. In 1987, mainstream New Zealand agreed that what we as gay people were doing was legal by passing a law that said so.
As words are limited, the abridged version could say, we ruined it for ourselves by a small minority being exhibitionists at the likes of the Hero Parade, which labelled us promiscuous.
We have gay venues that promote sexual activity that are also seen as promiscuous. We, gay, were once the biggest spreader of HIV/Aids, today in the US it is black women.
We need to take a leaf out of the African American book and their approach to racism. That is, to be overtly under the radar to achieve with volumes of silence. We wanted the choice to help our partners if they were sick and be their decision-makers, we wanted our relationships acknowledged for emotional and financial reasons. Mainstream NZ gave us this by rewriting legislation that said we could not be discriminated against and we could legally become, through a civil union, a life partner with someone of the same sex.
New Zealand didn't go so far as to agree to adoption by gay couples but did say as an individual we could. This left the non-adopter with no legal guardianship over the child upon death, but I'm sure a guardian document could be created. The only other thing we as gay people were not offered was consent by God, from the arbiters of God's thinking, those with a loud voice in churches that speak of heteronormativity as the only way in the eyes of God.
If you have a relationship with God, you can forgive those who have implemented their will. As a gay man, I have been educated and hold a Masters degree, owned businesses, travelled, been civil unioned and had the pleasure of being an influential part of young people's lives, enjoy my friends - free of prejudice - and love those around me. I'm wondering what part marriage will play in gays' lives; I have never agreed with my relationship with God being up for public discussion.