Caregiver son pleads for break

A Northland man has to go out into a paddock to talk on the phone about his father's illness because the elderly man does not believe he has Alzheimer's.
At the mention of it he gets agitated and unco-operative with the person who has looked after him for nearly three years.
And John Parsons doesn't like to talk about his 76-year-old dad George behind his back.
"It's just that I can't talk in front of him, he gets angry."
Soon after his sister died of cancer three years ago, Mr Parsons gave up his motor mechanic business and moved to his father's 28ha Maromaku farm, 12km south of Kawakawa. George's deteriorating behaviour - previously put down to grief - had been diagnosed as Alzheimer's.
Mr Parsons is paid $230 a week for the job that keeps his father in his own home and out of expensive residential care.
"It's a 24-hour-a-day job, so I get paid ... what? ... about $1.50 an hour. I'm not complaining about having to be dad's caregiver but trying to find respite care is bloody near impossible. I'm jut about at my wit's end."
The only time off he has is when his father spends one day a week at an adult day care centre in Kawakawa. When he's there Mr Parsons Senior believes it's so he can help as a volunteer - he insists there's nothing wrong with him.
Mr Parsons is worried about George's increasing anger and agitation. His father is not violent but gets "a bit het up" and confused, although his memory is largely intact.
"New information goes in and he just kind of stacks it up on top of everything else and all you get back is confusion.
"That's when he gets frustrated and argumentative."
Mr Parsons has to give his father medication at times to calm him, "but all it does is make him dozy and argumentative".
Mr Parsons Senior's name is on the residential care waiting lists at two Whangarei rest homes with dementia facilities and certification - Kamo Home and Village and Selwyn Park Village. But Kamo has no respite beds and the waiting list at Selwyn Park is impossibly long.
Northlanders caring for people with Alzheimer's often have to send them to Auckland for respite care. Mr Parsons said that option, and another possible option at Kerikeri, is not ideal as in those places his father would seldom see people he knew.
Mr Parson's said: "I want him to be in Whangarei. If he's there at least other people can pop in and visit him. It's not easy for some of the older family members to get to Kerikeri or Auckland.
"Dad's worked every day of his life and lived like a pauper so the family could have the farm.
"I'll have to sell it one day to pay for his care but right now I'm the last one left who can look after him here fulltime.
All I need is a break so I can keep doing that for a while longer."
* Fears grow as health boss admits North has limited respite care
A shortage of beds means elderly dementia patients are being sent from Northland to Auckland so their fulltime caregivers can have time out.
The situation is nearly at crises point, say people working in the elderly care sector.
Northland rest homes with certified dementia units field an average of five requests a month from caregivers needing respite care beds. Most of those requests can not be met. There are about nine requests a month for permanent registered care.
The chief executive of one of New Zealand's biggest elderly residential care businesses, Auckland-based Selwyn Village Foundation, warned the situation was likely to get worse.
The private sector would increasingly steer clear of dementia care because of high costs and low profits, said Duncan McDonald, boss of the Auckland-based foundation, which owns Whangarei's Selwyn Park Village.
Kim Tito, Northland District Health Board general manager of service development, confirmed there was limited respite care available in Northland. The lack of beds was of growing concern and the board was working closely with providers to build additional capacity, he said.
Alzheimer Society Northland general manager Ros Martin said the organisation provided support other than residential care to families and was able to offer limited daycare.
Ms Martin said people living in rural districts often had trouble accepting the idea their loved ones would not be "just around the corner".
"But once people are safe, comfortable and secure in a well-set up environment the issues of distance and other physical factors seem less insurmountable," she said.
Meanwhile, Mr McDonald said while Northland had higher needs than most districts, the bed shortage was becoming an issue across New Zealand.
The public health sector needed to be more proactive as commercial operators were not interested, Mr McDonald said. The Selwyn foundation proved dementia care as an extension of its core business, he said.
There were 40,000 Alzheimer's or dementia patients in New Zealand.