Carly Priddle created a sisterhood with Burlesque Beauties.
This International Women’s Day, Jodi Bryant speaks with Carly Priddle, aka CarlyKahlua, about the inspirational work she does with Burlesque Beauties, empowering hundreds of Northland women.
When Carly Priddle had her son, everything came to a grinding halt - but from the post-partum blues, Burlesque Beauties was born.
Fast-forward nearly 14 years and Priddle leads a Sass Squad of 200, often once-shy, now dynamic ladies strutting their stuff in racy clothing.
But she’s quick to point out – the clothing stays on.
“There’s a group in town ...and the difference is that they’re solo acts and they perform a more traditional style of burlesque where strip tease is the predominant theme.
“Being a post-partum mum, I didn’t want to strip, but wanted to wear the empowering, sexy, confident costumes. We might remove an accessory like a glove or a dressing gown, but that is the maximum and that is 100% why Burlesque Beauties is so popular as it’s safe.”
Because it omits the stripping side, Priddle was forced to dance – something the 39-year-old with a background in theatre had never tried.
“I have a diploma in performing arts and there are elements of movement you need to pass the diploma. Otherwise, I’m not trained in any form of dance – I would get down in the clubs but that’s it,” laughs the former teacher.
“I would refer to myself as a double-threat as I absolutely will not sing. In performing arts, if you can sing, dance and act, you’re a triple-threat but no one wants to hear me sing.”
The idea for Burlesque Beauties derived from the movie Burlesque, of which Priddle was a huge fan. Having attended other shows, she decided to adapt her own theatrical version.
“I had my son Jay and took a year’s maternity leave and felt quite isolated at home. I tried to think up something where I could get moving and where Jay could come along with me.”
Along with a friend who was also a new mum, they began dancing in the garage as a hobby before they were joined by several more ladies. It soon gained traction as word spread and spiralled.
What began as lonely new mums wanting to regain their confidence has become a sisterhood union where soul-fulfilling friendships have formed.
The women, who travel from the likes of Dargaville, Kerikeri and one even from Auckland, partake in five-week workshops at a hall in Morningside where they learn a dance routine.
Included in the workshop might be a music video or photo shoot with the majority kept behind closed doors, although there is an optional annual show.
“If they want to add to their bucket list ‘performing in Whangārei’s biggest theatre, then they do and 90% do. By that time, they’re part of the sisterhood and they’re going to have wraparound support,” says Priddle, who has a fulltime job in marketing and cites Burlesque Beauties as a hobby.
With ages ranging from 18 (16 if accompanied by their mum) to 66, Priddle finds that the older women aren’t ready to “pick up the knitting needles”. Her own mother even gave it a go, although it took some convincing.
“My mum is extremely timid and quiet, and it was on my bucket list for her to try burlesque. One year she said, ‘Right, I’ll do it’ and, honestly, it was a high point in my life. She’s never done it again, but I’ll treasure it forever.”
Adds Priddle: “I don’t think that women harness their feminine energy enough. They’re scared to because of those stigma reasons. I’m saying, come harness your energy and learn how to wield it and it will change your life”.
Because of the stigma, Priddle, who goes by stage name CarlyKahlua, finds many women are extremely intimidated by the notion of burlesque dancing.
“There is a stigma and the common response is: ‘Oh, so you’re a stripper’. Very interestingly, a lot of stigma comes from women. It’s the tall poppy syndrome in New Zealand.
“Instead of seeing it as embracing themselves, people see it as showing off. I know people think I’m a show-off but I’m really not.
“Then there’s men, I will never dance at a stag’s do as they just see someone moving, like that’s an invitation. We perform at regular events, but we are very selective as we’re mostly just doing it for ourselves.”
Nowadays, Priddle often has husbands and partners approach her after a show to thank her.
“They say, ‘It’s the best, she’s changed so much’. Because they’ve stepped into their power and that filters home and that’s flippin’ cool.”
Son Jay, 13, has always been her sidekick at classes and Priddle believes it has ingrained a respect for women.
“One of the best things for me is to show Jay a healthy representation of women. I’m really excited for him to become a man and be really respectful of women.
“Honestly, I’m not just a mum with rose-coloured glasses, he is special because he’s been raised in that environment. He will tell a 60-plus woman she looks beautiful.”
The Sass Squad are currently working on a cowgirl hoedown routine, stemming from former non-dancer Priddle attending hoedown events at Poroti Tavern.
“I find them so much fun, so what we’re working on is an infusion of burlesque and line dancing. I once infused belly dancing too. I absolutely love dancing now and cannot imagine my life without it.
“I feel incredibly honoured to be a part of so many incredible women’s journeys towards self-love, confidence and sass. I create the platform, but my dancers definitely make the magic.”
A reluctant Toyah Olson was dragged along to watch a burlesque class by her sister in 2018 and was blown away.
“My sister was the dancer in the family, and I went along with the intention of bonding with my sister. I went along to watch two classes at first and I was thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I could never do this’, but I was also so impressed with everyone.
“I’m not sure what I was expecting but I was not expecting there to be so many different women of all ages and sizes and watching them all moving in unison was just stunning to see.”
Her sister eventually wore her down and Olson signed up to her first workshop.
“I am a big girl and I was very, very self-conscious of my size and when I observed, I thought, ‘Oh, I don’t think I can get this big body to move like that but, to my surprise, I could and then there was this eureka moment and that was ground-breaking for me.”
After that workshop, the single mum to a now 15-year-old son set herself a goal for 2019 to partake in all the workshops, followed by the end-of-year show.
Since then, the 37-year-old nurse has only missed one workshop due to illness.
“That first show I did, I was so, so nervous and so focused on doing the right moves and getting the timing right but I’m not nervous now, I’m excited and I have this massive grin on my face because you just transform into your stage persona I guess,” says Olson, who goes by the stage name “Madame Satine”.
“I found a community that was incredibly supportive. It helps you change the narrative about yourself, and I found a confidence that I didn’t know I had.
“I’ve always been the chubby girl, and I had never felt comfortable in my own skin, but I actually felt good in my body for the first time ever and a lot of that comes from the girls. It’s definitely been a massive confidence booster for me but the biggest thing I take away is the friendships.
“Carly has created this beautiful community where I’ve never heard a negative word spoken. It’s very much that we straighten each other’s crowns and that is just a wonderful feeling.”