Autism Acceptance Month: Social worker Carolyn Procter on son’s diagnosis

Following on from Autism Acceptance Month, Reporter Brodie Stone spoke with three Whangārei families about their lived experiences parenting autistic children - and the messages they might have for readers. Today, we share Blaine’s story.

Social worker and Whangārei mum Carolyn Procter always thought her son Blaine had ADHD.

His inability to sit still had him always getting in trouble even early on. When he was at daycare he was pegged as the “troublemaker”.

“He had no personal space. A couple of kids had some issues and Blaine was blamed and he wasn’t even there that day.

“Then we went to school, we had teachers saying that he was being naughty and being grumpy at us.”

Procter said teachers would describe it as “typical boy” behaviour, but she had a different view.

“I thought no, this is not right. So we decided we were going to get him seen to.”

Blaine was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in 2020 at the age of 8.

“I was quite shocked actually, that the diagnosis was autism.”

She went through a period of grief before the relief that Blaine could get the support required took over.

Procter describes her son as a “gap child”.

Blaine is too high functioning for a lot of support but she still has to keep an eye out to make sure there’s no support he is missing.

He was also diagnosed with dyslexia, dysgraphia (difficulty with writing), attention deficit disorder and anxiety, so she said that has opened more doors for help.

Now at intermediate, her son is a passionate “justice warrior” something that can at times get him in trouble.

He’s struggled with bullying and fails to pick up on social cues and boundaries.

True to his ”justice warrior” label, Procter described her son as someone with a lot of love and passion.

Carolyn Procter and her son Blaine are a close pair. Photo / Michael Cunningham

He loves horror movies and SCP’s - something the Advocate quickly grew to learn about during its visit where he gave an impassioned explanation as to what the monster alien creatures are.

“He will chat your ear off,” Procter laughed.

Procter is a mother of three, and jack of all trades. From chef work, housecleaning and running craft markets she’s done a bit of everything.

More recently she decided to pursue a Bachelor of Applied Social Work at NorthTec.

She graduated in 2020 and after working in parent mentoring, she was given the option to facilitate the Barnados Incredible Years Autism course.

She hasn’t looked back since.

Carolyn Procter facilitates the Barnados Incredible Years Autism programme. Photo / Michael Cunningham

“If I had that when I first had Blaine it would have been an absolute game changer,” she said.

“You get parents coming along and you can see the changes. It’s about building relationships with our kids on the spectrum. How to engage with them.”

It’s a 14-week course, one that she describes as pulling the layers “right back” for parents to create with a “child-led” mindset.

Procter is passionate about her work but said it’s also been a cathartic experience as a parent of an autistic child.

“It’s a bit of validation for me as well. I can say ‘oh hey, I’ve been there, I’ve done that. And I’ve tried this, this is what works’.”

Her work aside, Procter said her current focus is to get Blaine through his schooling.

“It’s the social and emotional wellbeing that worries me, and his learning.

“Basically just his happiness is our goal.”

Blaine said he hoped people would educate themselves or their children and understand how autism works.

Ultimately, he just wants to be included and treated with kindness.

For more support and information about autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you can contact the following:

Alltogether Autism 0508 236 236 or altogetherautism.org.nz

IHC New Zealand 0800 442 442 or ihc.org.nz

Autism New Zealand (09) 846 0913 or autismnz.org.nz

Brodie Stone is an education and general news reporter at the Advocate. Brodie has spent most of her life in Whangārei and is passionate about delving into issues that matter to Northlanders and beyond.