Wellbeing, Rachel Grunwell: Rise above the mean girls

I can't speak too highly of Glennon Doyle's new book Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living.

On the outside Doyle had seemingly everything: Career, husband and children. But on the inside she wasn't authentically living. Then, while at a conference, she fell in love with a woman. Recently a woman was irked by me and tried to put me in my place.

She didn't speak with me; She went above me to cause carnage.

Her actions made me feel bullied, back at high school and reminded me that 'mean girls' still exist even when you're in your goddamned 40s.

I mean, aren't we too old for this s***!

At first, I was shaken. Upset. Angry.

But I soon escaped that emotional quicksand. I remembered a philosophy I live by: Where energy goes, energy flows.

I realised her warped interpretation was her problem. I decided not to give that situation any more head-space. I moved on ...

I had pondered though that I really can't understand why women behave like this.

But then I understood her actions clearly when I read a chapter in Glennon Doyle's new book Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living.

She writes that women have been conditioned to mistrust and dislike strong, confident, happy girls and women.

She writes: "We all have. Studies prove that the more powerful, successful, and happy a woman becomes, the less people like and trust her. So we proclaim: Women are entitled to take their rightful place! Then when a woman does take her rightful place, our first reaction is: She's so ... entitled. We become people who say of confident women, 'I don't know, I can't explain it — it's just something about her. I just don't like her. I can't put my finger on why.'

"I can put my finger on why: It's because our training is kicking in through our subconscious. Strong, happy, confident girls should be self-doubting, reserved, timid, and apologetic. Girls who are bold enough to break those rules irk us. Their brazen defiance and refusal to follow directions make us want to put them back into their cage."

This is just one of the ways Doyle invites readers to question our conditioned behaviours.

Untamed is the coolest wellbeing book currently on the market. Doyle will dare you to dream outside your social conditioning. This should be every girl's break-free life bible.

This book is inspiring, and part memoir. Doyle shares how she lived a life of discontent and numbed by addictions. On the outside she had seemingly everything: Career, husband and children. But on the inside she wasn't authentically living.

Then, while at a conference, she fell in love with a woman. Since then, she has stopped living life in the ways she has been conditioned. It just requires bravery.

She wants to inspire women to quit living life to be liked and to please others. It's better to be wild, true, brave and to live your truest, most beautiful life, she says.

Just remember to be kind to other women along the way ...

Rachel is a wellness coach, speaker and author of Balance: Food, Health + Happiness. Follow her on Instagram

www.instagram.com/rachelgrunwell/
website www.inspiredhealth.co.nz