Water water everywhere

Growing up as I did in Dunedin - and I count "growing up" as the space between 20 and 40 - I never had to give much thought to watering the garden. Nature, completely unappreciated, took care of it with monotonous regularity that ultimately sent me scampering off to Northland where, I mistakenly believed, it didn't rain every day.
Well, I was wrong. I'd be willing to swear that in my little patch of the Far North it rained almost every day from 1999 until last year, when it stopped raining in October and didn't start again until May. This summer looks to be much the same, so I've become a water bore, if you'll excuse the play on words. When I'm away from home I phone friends and ask not how their arthritis is, or how their children are, or whether they've finally sorted out a satisfactory matrimonial property agreement.
I ask them if it's rained yet. If I see black clouds in the sky I ring mates who live further afield and ask if it's raining at their place and whether they think it's on its way to mine.
My dinner party conversation is about rain gauges, dripper lines, soakers and pumps.
It's my own fault. I've made what I call compromises (more experienced friends call them mistakes) when planting the garden this year. I was so overcome with enthusiasm for the new garden that we started planting in autumn that I forgot to stop, so trees and shrubs I've planted in the past month now need serious watering.
I also planted exactly what I wanted, so there are mismatched plants with different moisture requirements right next to each other.
Thus, during the past four or five weeks I've had to spend a couple of hours a day watering the garden, during which time I've had ample opportunity to ponder the relative merits of the jet, shower, soaker, flat and centred settings on my hose nozzle. The good news for those of us who like to ponder such things is that watering by hand gives you the best control of how much water you use and where it goes. Slow watering close to the ground is the best because it gives plants time to take up moisture through their roots. Good, deep soaks delivered less frequently encourage the growth of feeder roots deep into the ground, which helps plants better survive short-term drought.
My personal method is to take the handpiece off the hose and direct the water straight on to the plants, at the base, one at a time. I've developed a complicated and probably pointless system involving watering in groups of three with one gulp of wine per group up to a maximum of - well, never mind how many gulps. There's a time frame involved as well but by the time I've done a dozen groups and had a dozen gulps, I've usually forgotten it.
If, however, you don't have time for this, seeper systems and soak hoses allow you to maximise soak time. You can position them to direct water to the roots and set a timer to regulate the amount of water used.
Don't be tempted to use a sprinkler. Most of the water falls outside of where you want it to go, and you have to leave them on for hours to water more than just the top centimetre or two of soil.
It's easy to fool yourself that either you or nature have delivered enough water to the garden to let you off the watering regime for a few days, but it pays to check the moisture of your soil. If it's damp 10cm below the surface you can relax for a bit, but if it's dry, you'd better get out there. Should you want to be thoroughly scientific, get a moisture meter. It's a probe which measures the moisture and provides a read-out so you know exactly where you stand.
Bear in mind at all times that watering the garden should be a pleasure. It's an opportunity to examine each and every plant in detail, admire their growth, make plans for new beds, walk barefooted, and hose your toes. Enjoy.
TIPS
* When it comes to watering, little and often is a bad idea. Lots, less frequently, will give you better plants in the long run.
* Collect every bit of water you can - rainwater from the roofs of sheds, garages, henhouses - and use it in the garden. Do this even if you're on the town water supply, because it's a precious resource that shouldn't be wasted.
* If you are keen to conserve, keep a container by kitchen and bathroom taps and save the water that runs off while you wait for the hot to come through. Keep a bucket in the shower. Use the water for patio and terrace plants in containers close to the house.
* Water in cool, calm conditions - early morning and evening is best as it reduces evaporation and you won't risk scorching your plants in the hot sun.
* If you're planning new areas of garden, consider using plants with similar water needs together.
* Save those wine bottles and use them to water individual plants. Either affix a watering nozzle or jam them into the soil so the water seeps out slowly.
* Never miss a chance to mulch.
TASKS

WATERING
It looks romantic, but it's simply not efficient. Directing water as low to the ground as possible ensures less waste, and reduces the risk of scorching the plants.
SAVING WATER
If you need to conserve water, choose plants that require similar (small) amounts. As a rule of thumb, most plants with silver and grey foliage will tolerate dry conditions best.