Fifty Shades of Grey is like Twilight but minus the glitter and sexy vampires.
Fifty Shades of Grey is like Twilight but minus the glitter and sexy vampires.
When word went round asking for someone to review Fifty Shades of Grey, I took one for the team and saw this incredibly hyped film adaptation.
Much like Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), my curiosity had been piqued by the reputation of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Sadly, like the film's weakfemale lead, I, too, would regret my curiosity.
Having never read the book, but heard many tales of its dubious quality, I can only assume the film's flaws are because of the source material. You all know the story -- it's as predictable and cliched as every Mills & Boon novel ever written. Naive, plain-but-pretty grad student meets wealthy, handsome businessman with a taste for women he can control. He's into BDSM, and refuses to "be romantic"; she's a virgin waiting for her shining knight. Christian likes to dominate and Ana is the predictably whimpering, submissive woman.
The sex is obviously the most-hyped part of this "mummy porn" phenomenon. Sadly, the awkwardly vanilla sex scenes in the film do not even remotely live up to the hype.
Controlling, emotionally manipulative relationship aside, my biggest bugbear with this film was the fact Ana supposedly fell in love with an awful man she barely knew. Seriously, the longest conversation they have is where they go over the details of the BDSM contract she never actually signs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I need a connection on a cerebral level to get my engine going.
That said, Fifty Shades is a good-looking film. The styling is beautiful, the wardrobe impeccable, and Christian Grey's toys -- from a garage full of late-model European cars to a helicopter and a glider -- all work to make this film as watchable as possible. It also has a totally banging soundtrack. Sadly, that's about as much depth as it managed.
I'm all for women embracing their sexuality and taking it in their own hands, which the Fifty Shades phenomenon has supposedly done worldwide, but I don't think the relationship between Christian and Ana is one that should be aspired to. It's like Twilight but with less glitter and no sexy vampires or werewolves -- old-school misogyny in shiny new wrapping paper.
