Frugal oily raggers should do well with these questions

It's quiz time. How do your oily rag skills rate? Here's your chance to find out by taking the oily rag test. Answer these simple questions, then see how you rate.
1 You just haven't got enough time to clean up around the house. What do you do?
a) Hire someone to give you a hand,
b) Do nothing - put up with the mess,
c) Remind the family of the age-old oily rag saying: "Those who maketh the mess cleaneth it up."

2 The latest movie has just been released and the kids are pestering you to go. What do you do?
a) Give in and pay whatever it takes to stop them from nagging,
b) Wait for the movie to come out on video, or on TV,
c) Suggest the kids read a good book instead,
d) Suggest they earn their own money and pay for it themselves.
3 Your partner suggests starting a garden. What's do you say in response?
a) "We do have a garden. Where do you think our vegetables come from?"
b) "Great. When do we start?"
c) "Are you kidding? Where am I going to find the time to watch TV and do gardening?"

4 Your nephew comes up and says, "Hey, 'ow about $100 so I kin get some Reeboks?" How do you reply?
a) "Shouldn't you be at school?"
b) "Oh, you poor little boy. Here's $100 and another $100 for being such a nice lad",
c) "Here's 50c. Go down to the op-shop and buy some sandshoes."
5 When did you last go to KFC?
a) KF what?
b) Ages ago,
c) I'm reading this in a KFC restaurant.
6 What did you order the last time you went?
a) The works - big bucket, fries, drink, sundae,
b) Nothing. I went in to use the toilet,
c) Whatever was on special.

7 You are doing your weekly shopping and inadvertently walk down the biscuits aisle. And there they are, your favourite, chocolate-coated biscuits. And they're on special. Your hand almost involuntarily reaches forward ... what do you do?
a) Grab chocolate bickies by the armful,
b) Resist the temptation and repeat three times "No, I'm living off the smell of an oily rag",
c) Resist the temptation and repeat three times, "No, I'm living off the smell of an oily rag" - then grab them by the handful.

8.You are thinking about buying a new car. What do you do next?

a) Forget about it. Use your pushbike instead,
b) Decide how much you can afford to spend then look at the "cheapies" in the cars for sale section of a newspaper,
c) See how much a finance company will advance to you.
Scores:
1 - 0 if you answered A, and 5 points if you answered B or C;
2 - 0 if you answered A, 5 points if you answered B or C, and 10 if you answered D;
3 - 5 if you answered A or B, and 0 if you answered C;
4 - 5 if you answered A or C, and 0 if you answered B;
5 - 5 if you answered A or B, and 0 if you answered C;
6 - 5 if you answered B or C, and 0 if you answered A;
7 - 0 if you answered A, 5 for B, and 2 for C;
8 - 5 if you answered A or B, and 0 if you answered C.
And now for your score.
Less than 20: Oh boy. Visit www.oilyrag.co.nz three times a day after food, until the symptoms disappear. 20-30: Could be better, but give yourself a small pat on the back.
More than 30: Congratulations. Give yourself a pat on the back, and join the Oily Rag Club at www.oilyrag.co.nz
Frank and Muriel Newman are the authors of Living Off the Smell of an Oily Rag in NZ. Readers can submit their oily rag tips on-line at www.oilyrag.co.nz