Talk, the vertically-challenged trio will tell you, is cheap after they amassed four wins and +35 differential points on the greens.
They beat a Bowls Heretaunga team of Bruce Stewart (skip), wife Lois Stewart (lead) and Byron Brook, who had four wins and +30 differential points.
The Havelock North Bowling Club's all-women side of skip Pauline Craven, lead Mary Hortop and Heather Leyland had to settle for third place on just as many wins but mustered only +27 differential points.
Whether the sprightly, retired seventy-somethings' short stature gives them a better sense of traction with gravity or whether it's the superb greens at Bowls Napier is the difference is debatable but what is clear is the winning combination are adroit.
A grinning host club member Ken O'Neil, 70, said they "got it [banter] all the time".
"They have to pick on somebody, don't they, if they can't win?"
Chimed in fellow club mate, Ives, 74, who lives three doors away from Ken: "We let our actions speak on the greens so they can say what they want."
Pat O'Neil, 75, of Bowls Heretaunga, said: "Okay, so we're old gnomes, too, and have a bit of fungus on us but we're not for sale."
He said the three greens were fine although their team didn't play on the best surface, the B Green.
"The greens ... allowed for consistent draw bowls."
The winning trio pocketed $300, adding the fine weather and great atmosphere heightened the 126 players' enjoyment from 9am to 4pm.
Some felt the day was perhaps 15 minutes too long, to which a laughing Ives replied: "They must be old, old people because we're old, young people."
Ken O'Neil said their final game against a Bowls Heretaunga team of skip Jim Bentley, wife Helen Bentley and Judy McDonald could have cost them the title.
"We won 12-6 but Jim could have cleaned us up with his last bowl although he just failed."
Asked if the winning combo would return to defend their bragging rights next year, a grinning Pat O'Neil replied: "Yes we'll be back if we're upright and arrive here because we could be the dancing gnomes."