‘I’m lucky to be alive’

RE-ESTABLISHING HER GARDEN: Tahu is not only a keen weaver, but also gardener. Although most of her plants were ruined in Cyclone Gabrielle, she is slowly recreating her outdoor space with the help of her son.Picture by Liam Clayton

Through the highs and lows of her long and varied life, cyclone survivor Tahu Dansey-Owen-Ruru has found solace in a craft she holds close to her heart — weaving. Matthew Rosenberg caught up with her at her home on the outskirts of Te Karaka to find out what it’s like to rebuild home and life in your 80s.

When 81-year-old Tahu Dansey-Owen-Ruru awoke in the early hours of the morning during Cyclone Gabrielle, she remembers thinking, “Am I dreaming?”

Her grandson had arrived from the property next door, and was calling through the window.

Blurry eyed, Tahu got out of bed in her basketball shorts and T-shirt, turned on the light and made her way to son Pitama’s room.

The water was already coming up through the floorboards and she knew she had to move fast.

Wasting no time, the pair made their way outside where they linked arms with her grandson, waded through chest-deep water, and entered a parked ute.

“They brought me back the next day, and it was horrible to see my bedroom the way it was,” Tahu says.

“Everything in here was turned upside down . . . I’m lucky to be alive.”

Five months on, the mother of seven with “more great-grandchildren than grandchildren” is trying to regain a sense of normality in the rural home she shares with her 51-year-old son.

Anything less than a few feet off the ground has been stripped back, revealing a skeleton interior.

Meanwhile, the pair are sleeping in an adjacent shed while repairs are made to their beloved home.

“When we come back into here, it’s just going to be plain as anything. We’re going to get a new kitchen (but) we’re not going to get anything flash,” she says.

“I love the garden. I did lose a lot of my bulbs. But you can always replace them. You can never replace life.”

It wasn’t the first disaster she has lived through. Tahu remembers being in Wellington at the time of the Wahine tragedy in 1968, when 51 people lost their lives.

Following that, she was in Tairāwhiti during Cyclone Bola in 1988, and has vivid memories of large earthquakes which rattled her home and broke household items.

As she shares from her 80-year memory bank, it becomes clear the warm smile on her face is more the result of a positive attitude than an easy run at life.

Born in 1941 during World War II, Tahu’s life began in Waiwhetū, Lower Hutt, as the fifth of nine children.

She started working at the age of 14, taking a job at Griffins biscuit factory before transitioning to the freezing works.

At age 19, she moved to Tairāwhiti to marry Ngata, a carver who was almost 20 years her senior.

The pair shared 28 happy years together before he died of stomach complications. Together, they parented seven children including one who died as an infant and another legally adopted from her sister.

“We had a good marriage . . . he let me go home to my own people for holidays with the children. That was gold really, for me,” Tahu says.

“I used to travel on the train with my children. Two at one time, then three.

After Ngata’s passing, Tahu found solace in the outdoors, ticking off hikes all over the country.

But after seven years of living by herself, she remembers coming home late from one particular trip feeling alone in the world, dumping her pack next to the fire.

“I went up to my room and I thought, ‘Is this the sort of life I’m going to live?’ ”

It wasn’t to be. Tahu remembers the phone ringing, and on the other end was an old friend, Malcolm, who she had helped following the passing of his wife.

He later dropped around half a slab of meat (which left her wondering where the other half ended up), and the pair began a relationship which lasted for two years.

That too ended in heartbreak. Malcolm’s life ended unexpectedly under tragic circumstances, leaving her on her own once again.

But as constant as the force of change has been in her life, so has a skill which has helped her ride the ups and downs — weaving.

In recent times, she has referred to it as “the thing that has kept me going”.

Tahu is a deft hand, and has been recognised nationally for her contributions to the craft.

She has designed garments for Air New Zealand, had her work featured in 2002 hit film Whale Rider, and in 2019 received a Kiwibank Local Hero medal for both her services to the community and the art of weaving.

As if by fate, the harakeke bushes outside her whare are some of the few plants in her once-blooming backyard that weathered February’s storm.

They have stood strong, as has Tahu.

Now in her 80s, there are no plans to take her foot off the gas. She says she loves elderly people, but doesn’t class herself within that category.

“My friend in town, Lucy Berry, she will be 104 this coming year,” she exclaims, as if to remind herself that age is no barrier to youth.

The hiking days might be over and there’s no feature film work in sight, but she is as busy as ever, repairing her home and keeping fit in the garden.

There’s no life philosophy, just gratitude for every day.

“It’s been awesome really. I’m blessed.”