Pure grey, salt-and-pepper or silvery blonde – the rules are out the window as more women ditch the dye and embrace their natural colour. It is wāhine-women who have traditionally carried the weight of society’s obsession with youth. And it is women who are making the choice,
Women embracing their grey hair are saving money and inspiring others
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Encouraged by her mother, whom she refers to as a silver fox, Bagust chose to jump in wholeheartedly with her hairdresser bleaching and lopping off her long hair so that the regrowth would blend seamlessly, avoiding a lengthy transition process.
While she admits it’s still a process in acceptance, the 51-year-old says the colour “feels like me” and that “our worth is never defined by how we look”. Whether or not women choose to colour their hair, wear makeup, or have cosmetic procedures is an individual choice, she says, but by embracing and accepting who we are, more than just how we look, we come to know our intrinsic value.
Grey doesn’t mean old
Although silver hair can be seen as ageing on women, the reality is greying can begin in a person’s 30s. High school teacher Amy Hill spotted her first greys in her 20s and has been covering them up since, with six-weekly hairdresser appointments and root touchups in between.
Last August, at 35, she decided the financial and time commitment was unnecessary.
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Although she’s felt a process of letting go of the old and accepting this new phase, Hill says she’s not quite ready to get out the cardigans and the three-quarter-length skirts just yet.
“Just because I’m going grey doesn’t mean I’m ready to be old. I still dress young, wear the heels, do the makeup.”
The Tauranga local has had mostly positive responses, with many women confiding to her that they wished they too could go natural.
“It feels like the pendulum’s swinging and people want to see more of this. I want to see more of this.”
Liberating and inspiring
Making the shift from colour was a natural progression for Pāpāmoa local Summer Tims. Partly influenced by the cost of hiding her greys, the primary factor in deciding to say goodbye to the dye was the desire to feel more comfortable in embracing her true self. She loves the feeling of freedom it has brought her.
“It’s quite liberating not to have to conform and it feels good for other women to see it’s okay to go grey,” she says.
The two most important women she hopes to influence are her two teenage daughters.
Despite their feeling that Mum would look younger if she dyed her hair, Tims is undeterred.
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“Beauty isn’t just how you look,” the 45-year-old says.
“Aesthetics are good, but beauty is so much deeper than that. I like to be as natural as possible so that they have an example right in front of them.”
Other women tend to compliment her natural locks, she says, but it’s “mostly men who find it odd” that she would choose to show her greys.
‘Extraordinary internal growth’
For Nannette Amos, it was circumstances beyond her control that gave her the ultimate nudge in accepting and embracing her natural silver locks.
Having coloured her hair a dark chestnut for 30 years, she’d recently started to experience headaches whenever she had her hair dyed.
The first Covid lockdown in March 2020 meant no more salon visits for a while. That was “the catalyst to let go and get started” growing her colour out.
Unable to touch up even her roots, the 57-year-old was able to move through what she describes as the first few hard months until the regrowth got to the stage where it was obviously intentional.
“Being in the supermarket I could feel eyes on me,” she says. “Society’s made us feel inferior for wanting to go grey.”
Needing motivation to keep going through her brief periods of doubt, the Western Bay of Plenty resident started an Instagram account detailing her journey. She uploaded a photo a day, tracking her progress.
In just over a year, some of her reels were gaining millions of views and she has now amassed nearly 37,000 followers. Growing the grey has connected her with a worldwide community of like-minded women who use the hashtag #silversisters on their posts. Their support and friendship have been incredible “and if my journey inspires somebody, then that’s fantastic,” she says.
“I get a bit embarrassed [posting] but it feels important too, because it’s making a difference for others.”
She didn’t anticipate the “extraordinary internal growth” that would come through embracing her natural beauty. She sees ageing as a privilege and is proud to play her small part in helping to change society’s perception of age.
On a wider scale, the celebration and appreciation of women in all seasons of life is slowly growing.
A fashionable head start
Australasian model agency Silverfox Management has captured this wave and proudly champions models aged 30 and over, with the agency stating “Beauty is ageless”. Rebecca Swaney, managing director of the New Zealand branch, says its youngest model starting her silver journey is 40 and the eldest is 79.
Where once only youthful, line-free images peered out from magazines and advertisements, Swaney has seen an increase in fashion brands wanting to include a mature model in their shoots. The agency’s second-top-earning model last year was 75-year-old Lesley, who has appeared in campaigns as diverse as the Auckland City Mission and fashion brand Moochi.
With 26 Silverfox models embracing their silver hair, the agency sees age positivity as a “win-win for everyone in a community” and that it should be wholeheartedly encouraged. It says people don’t want to be “boxed in by their age”, whether that’s in lifestyle, brand or style choices or as a customer.
“An older person is more likely today to lead a rich, fulfilling, independent lifestyle than ever before. Rich not just in the fruits of their hardworking life, but rich in family, friends, new adventures, new creative outlets, they chase the new,” Swaney says.
“I have many silver foxes that are having total life changes in their 50s, 60s, 70s – (piercings, tattoos, marriage/divorce/studying etc). The growing years certainly do not always equate to the slowing years.”
A word from the wise
Libby Whaley, premier stylist and founder of Epsilon Hair in Mount Maunganui, says the salon has seen an increase in the number of younger women embracing their grey. Clients making the change used to be in their 50s, whereas more women in their early 40s are “choosing to stop covering their grey as much”.
For those not yet prepared to fully welcome a hard regrowth line, Libby suggests a transition time of 12 to 24 months for a move from permanent colour to semi-permanent.
This allows greys to be blended in softly, rather than fully covered. This works particularly well for darker or red hair.
For those with blonde or fairer hair, applying fewer highlights each time and extending the trips to the salon between colours allows the incoming grey to integrate beautifully with the colour.
Libby’s tips for growing out your grey
- If you’re not ready to cut off all your colour, make the change slowly.
- Be prepared for others to comment – positively and negatively.
- Embrace the fact you’ve lived a life and earned those greys!
- Play with bright lipsticks or funky earrings and necklaces that will put some extra colour into your skin.
- If opting for a shorter style than before, why not experiment with something funky!
- If choosing to keep hair long, ensure you take the time to style it – blow wave, or learn how to do a chic chignon.
- Your grey can be a real talking point: embrace it!
