Will Johnston. Bay News
I have all the flexibility of a table leg. I know this already, but I thought I'd give yoga a go anyway.
What could possibly go wrong? Well, nothing actually. Sometimes it's so hard to stick to what you believe in huh? Especially when you're an intrinsically lazy person. I believe that you should always be up for something new (within legality and morality).
So when my girlfriend told me we were going to yoga, I didn't argue. Well, not much. Note how I was "told", not "asked". I'm as in charge of this relationship as the captain of the Rena was of his ship. Too soon? Surely not.
We turned up to the Tauranga Yoga Centre for a Monday night beginners' class. I've always loved the custom of leaving your shoes at the door of a special place. It's a nice leveller. You do that here, to leave the outside world outside. I also, as I later found out, left my hamstrings out there too.
We went with another couple. Let's just call them Jemima and Big Ted. Big Ted was a novice, like me. Thank god. You get in there and get set up; mat, blankets, brick-sized hard foam block and a strap. Wait, what? A strap! Why in the inflexibility-god's name will I be needing a strap this evening? Turns out it's to stretch your arms wide behind your head, then rope-work tie your ankles as close to your butt as you can get them. Sounds painful, but actually quite a good stretch and almost relaxing! Me and Big Ted shook with laughter/dread/muscle-spasm all the way through it!
I looked over at Big Ted at one stage and he looked 10 years younger and clear-of-mind. He'd sweated the last 10 years of booze and bad food out his forehead. Big Ted looked back at me with a look of desperation. I think he was stuck. We laughed and my legs failed, taking out the woman next to me on my way down. Clearly a beginner.
The instructor was a dude. I've always thought guys who do lots of yoga are a bit weird. In my ignorance I didn't realise the amount of dedication and fitness you need to do this form of relaxation and exercise well. Guys who do lots of yoga now have my full respect. As do their hamstrings.
Who thought putting your hands and feet on the ground, sticking your bum in the air and looking between your own (unimpressive) legs would be a mission?! There are the wide-legged poses, sitting down ones, ones against a wall, lying down (my favourite) and ones where to complete them properly you'd need to be a plant. But it's just about doing what's comfortable for you and testing yourself a little.
Oh and at the end is the lie-down, dim-the-lights, relaxation part! They get you in to such a relaxed state that two people, on opposite sides of the room, had a snore-off. Brilliant.
Yoga is worth a go. Worked for me and I'll be back. Go with a partner though. A problem shared is a problem halved!
(Will Johnston is the host of Will and Bridget in the Morning-Classic Hits 95FM Breakfast Show in the Bay of Plenty. Listen every weekday from 6am till 9am.)