Tommy Wilson: City match a worthy affair

Tauranga Domain is the spiritual home of Bay rugby.

Right now the name Ashley Madison would mean about as much as the name of the rugrat living on Donald Trump's head to those who do not look for love on a laptop, and just like a poor-fitting hairpiece, trying to justify joining a "sly on the side" website for an affair is very vain in a "how hot am I, not" kind of way.

Fact is with affairs and hairpieces, no matter how hard you try and dress them up to look respectable, they both fall off to expose one's vanity and insecurities in the end.

For those who know the name like a nightmare that you keep waking up to, all I can say is your lawyers must be all on speed dial, as will the person who ends up with half of your assets when you are outed.

Apparently there are 3426 subscribers to Ashley Madison in the Tauranga area alone, 12 of them living in my home town of Te Puna.

I had an opportunity to meet them all under the Wairoa Bridge and hear their side of the story yesterday, as their feathers were all severely ruffled, so I accepted - and yes they were all there clucking mad when I arrived, and what fine looking chooks they all were.

Shame on you all hoping for a saucy story!

What a waste - not the chooks, they are roaming free on the range on the banks of the Wairoa River with not a care in the world, but not so those who are about to be outed by Trashley.

On the subject of infidelity, it seems Tiger has turned a corner and his golf is better for it with a series of record-breaking rounds over the weekend.

What won't be a waste of time and has nothing to do with finding a like-minded unfaithful partner will be the epic game of rugby down on the Domain this Sunday, when the clash of the Kaimais will take place.

For many of us rugby fanatics the Domain is the home of Tauranga and Bay rugby. Always has been and always will be, no matter hard they try and dress up stockcar track mutton to make it look like Eden Park lamb.

As a young footy fulla - back in the day of square-toed black Don Clarke boots, the Domain was where we watched our hard-nosed, no nonsense rugby heroes.

Locally there was the dancing duo of Eddie Stokes and Jimmy Kamizona, who dazzled the crowd - as did the faster-than-lightning right wing Graham Moore, and the dramatic end to Toko Ririnui's playing career when he threw his boots up on to the Domain roof. Folklore magic memories to be treasured.

As was the winning of my brother Mike's club competition when he took the Mounties to the top with talent like Sir Titch, who has gone on to coach the World Cup-winning sevens.

And the fun of the maple pole at halftime in the park next door were treats that didn't cost a brass razoo, other than a few grass burns from trying to jump off at full tilt - to catch the second half - or my sisters for a sixpence when they wandered down from the Cliff Rd netball courts. If you have ever experienced the Domain from up in the stand or down on the field you will know just how special it is to run out on to as a player and the panoramic views from the stand are equal to any Cake Tin or Eden Park.

I guess we will see this Sunday how much it means to the locals and to watch the Steamers silence the cowbells will send out a signal of "Bring Back The Domain" for our civic leaders to listen to.

There is talk around the traps that a tight team of Taurangians are having a crack at putting together a game plan for not just the Domain but other much-needed amenities around town and given the collective clout they have in their powerful pack, it has more chance of success than any other proposal of the past.

These boys aren't just blowing in the wind like a Bob Dylan song or a Donald Trump feral hairpiece.

From all accounts they are the real deal and deserve our support if we are to give Tauranga the downtown soul it deserves.

There is no question that we need to get our kids off their digital devices and out on to the parks, playgrounds and sporting fields before they turn into an instant generation of Facebook geeks.

The same could be said for some of their parents, who are also spending way too much time looking for love on their laptops when they should be out sharing the magic moments of sport and recreation with their family and whanau.

C'mon the Bay!!

broblack@xtra.co.nz

-Tommy Wilson is a best-selling author and local writer.