A local child therapist is outraged at the suggestion of bully victims fighting back with their fists.
Tauranga family counsellor and child therapist Marjorie Douglas and was shocked with comments by Ian Grant, co-founder of Parents, who said violence could put an end to bullying.
In an article in
the Bay of Plenty Times earlier this week, Mr Grant acknowledged violence should be treated as an "absolutely last resort" but said people should stand up for themselves.
"And if that means hitting somebody else, I don't have any issue with that," he said.
His comments came after American human behavioural specialist Dr John Demartini told Australian audiences while on a lecture tour to promote his book Benefits of the Bully that bullying victims should fight back with their fists.
But Ms Douglas disagreed.
She said if bully victims fought back, this would fuel a more violent society. "This would create more violence," she said.
"I'm a family therapist and there are are so many short-term solutions to bullying that people come up with ... and this is one of them," she said.
"It's fair enough people need to make choices on how to deal with these things but it's up to the adult, parent or teacher to say to themselves 'what can I do about it' not the children."
Ms Douglas runs the Incredible Years parenting programme in Tauranga, which has been researched more than 30 years across all countries and cultures. She was "extremely worried" with the idea of victims using violence to solve their problems.
"Basically children are indicative of what's going on at home and in society and for a short-term solution, this is unacceptable when we should strive toward a zero tolerance to violence.
She said parents should encourage their children to walk away from bullies and speak up against them rather than fight.
"The responsibility should be on the parents and teachers to be someone [these victims] can trust and the responsibility should not be in the child's hands."
"I love the saying 'If I'm not part of the solution I must be part of the problem' ... and we as a society should have a zero tolerance to violence and it's sad that we don't."
Robert Hyndman, deputy president of the Western Bay of Plenty Principals Association and principal of Brookfield School, did not believe reciprocal violence would solve bullying problems.
"If they whack a bully then the bully might leave them alone and move on to someone else so this isn't fixing the problem but shifting it," Mr Hyndman said.
"I understand why some parents might want to go down that road (but) from a Principals Association point of view that is not the right way to go."
Mr Hyndman said school bullying was a generic problem than "needed to be dealt with" and it was important for schools to have the right tools to help victims as best they can.
"Schools need to give children the tools to identify what the problems are and know how to deal with these problems with confidence.
"With violence or bullying young people will usually need someone else to come in and help them.
"However, they also need tools to be able to help themselves when low-level issues arise.
"They must be able to trust the system that if they talk, they will be listened to and something will happen to prevent it continuing."
A positive partnership between the school and parents was "essential when dealing with behavioural issues".
The best results were achieved when everyone worked together, Mr Hyndman said.