Rob Rattenbury: Why is the world so obsessed with looks?

Society favours those blessed with good looks but there are advantages of being photogenically-challenged, Rob Rattenbury writes. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

Pretty or physically attractive people will always get the better jobs, be picked for the leading parts in school plays, sometimes despite lack of acting talent, only ever get to date other pretty people and they will, on average make more money than us plain Janes and Johns.

I never realised I was photogenically-challenged until I was about 9 or 10 years old when my dear mother, in exasperation with me for teasing my sister about her ears, told me I was no oil painting myself.

I was somewhat taken aback and upon checking in the looking-glass decided mum had a point.

If I was to succeed in life I was going to have to rely on charm, wit, repartee and smooth dance moves.

I had also better do well at school if I wanted a half-decent job when I grew up.

Sobering for one so young to have to deal with but I come from a generation who was not spoiled or pampered but usually dealt with directly by our parents.

It was love, but the kind of love that prepared you for the realities of your life, no-one else's.

Seriously, "lookism", the new term of my week, is a major social issue.

It starts with babies. Pretty babies are cooed over; ugly babies are, well, politely and quietly smiled at.

It is used unconsciously by others to judge you; employers, teachers, colleagues, sporting associates. It is apparently an in-built human trait that assumes only good-looking people can be intelligent, socially successful, honest, nice, good at sport and well, worth knowing.

A load of rubbish of course.

Being plain in my life has had its advantages. I got to sit at the back of the class so the teacher did not have to keep looking at my mug all day. Suited me, more chance for mischief and devilry with my other rambunctious mates.

Teachers also tended to only ask the nice-looking kids up the front to have silly roles like class monitor or prefect.

Despite knowing all the songs for the school musical Oklahoma I was not cast in an acting role, having to be a scene-shifter on the night and helping my pretty schoolmates with their lines.

I did get in the school choir but in public performances was put at the back with my fellow rugged-looking mates. The choirmaster needed some bass voices and pretty boys tend not to have bass voices.

In the later field of romance, I always tended to bat well-above my average with the limited success that one would expect when teenagers judge each other purely on their looks.

I found that I tended to be more socially forward than my better-looking mates so began a period of my life where I would introduce shy friends to each other.

At least one marriage between two attractive people resulted.

I guess I just accepted my homeliness and got on with it

Asking my now wife of 48 years out as a nervous 20-year-old, I knew I was having to hit a six and nearly fell off the chair when she accepted a date with me.

I then had months of smart, well-meant jibes from my male friends about what was I doing with her. Deep down I was very proud of myself. The words of Eric Clapton's classic hit still rings in my ears all these years later:

"We go to a party and everyone turns to see

This beautiful lady that's walking around with me

And then she asks me "Do you feel all right"

And I say "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"

Sadly there is a social stigma associated with not being pretty or beautiful or whatever the word is.

It is unfair but it is also something no one has any control over.

It often means that plain people do become more successful because they know that they have to work a lot harder to get the breaks that their handsome friends do.

Just a small point, but in my work and life experience I have always found the most needy and insecure people to be the most physically attractive.

The most able and coping individuals tend to be just that, very individual in their outlook and, while not conventionally pretty, accepting of their supposed defects, getting on and doing very well for themselves.

So to all you photogenic-challenged people out there, beauty is a lot more than skin deep. Be nice to your beautiful friends, they need you.